21:40
"What is it with you constantly checking the time on your phone? Don't you like the movie?" Jeonghan looked up at Seungcheol who was seemingly worried about something as he turned his phone upside down next to him for the nth time that evening.
After they had spent their entire day doing nothing, again, they ordered some take-out food and went back to Seungcheol's room straight after dinner. They had thrown themselves on the huge bed and cuddled up to watch a movie.
Only this evening Jeonghan could notice that something was clearly off. Seungcheol was being more quiet than usual, starting at dinner, and constantly pulling his phone from out of nowhere only to look at the lock screen for a second and to place it back next to him again.
For what reason was he acting so odd?
He would almost say.. worried?
"It's nothing." Seungcheol replied with a sharp tone in his voice, making Jeonghan flinch in his position, not being used to the angry tone in Seungcheol's voice.
Without second thoughts he grabbed the remote to pause the movie and leaned on his hands so their faces were on the same height. "Hey Cheol, what's wrong?" He asked in a worried tone, noticing something indeed was really off about his boyfriend, the look on his face giving away what Jeonghan was thinking about.
But Seungcheol only looked away, making Jeonghan face his cheek. He instantly leaned back, giving Seungcheol the space he might need for whatever was going on. "Cheol..?"
An annoyed sigh escaped Seungcheol's lips as he looked back at his boyfriend. "Just leave me alone, please." He said in a low tone, making Jeonghan back away even more as the feeling of fear crept up his body together with the cold feeling of goosebumps popping up on his skin.
Why was Seungcheol suddenly acting like this? Did he do something wrong? It was all so confusing to Jeonghan, who just helplessly looked at the boy in front of him who was pushing himself up from the bed and sat down on the edge, facing down and resting both his hands on the back of his head.
"Did I do something wrong..?" Jeonghan whispered, being used to put the blame on himself. He carefully crawled over to his boyfriend, knowing how much affection they usually gave each other, especially in difficult situations. But the moment he lay a finger on Seungcheol's shoulder he flinched and shot his head up, making Jeonghan fall back on the bed again.
"I can't do this anymore Jeonghan."
Jeonghan felt how all the color drained from his face. Feelings started leaving his entire body, sadness overwhelming him like a waterfall. Tears threatened to fall as he choked out a reply. "W-what?" He wished he just didn't hear it right the first time. That Seungcheol was just joking and would jump back on the bed to attack him with his usual clingy self, just like he always did.
But this time, he didn't.
He just stared at Jeonghan without showing any sort of emotion. "Do I really have to repeat myself? I said I can't do this anymore." His words cut Jeonghan open like cold knives and his heart sunk all the way down to his feet.
Seungcheol stood up out of sudden, walking to his closet, only to pull out a long grey blazer. "Cheol, what are you doi-" "-don't. Stop calling me like that." He sharply said, aggressively pulling his collar higher up, hearing how hard it was still raining outside.
"What- what is ..t-this all about..? y-you're ne-never like this..?" Jeonghan felt like he couldn't move. What got into Seungcheol that made him act like this towards his own boyfriend. boyfriend? The word made him think if they were still.. boyfriends?
"Well, people change." Seungcheol shrugged nonchalant and turned around. "I have to go now."
Before Seungcheol could even move to get closer to the door, Jeonghan had thrown himself off the bed and backhugged Seungcheol tighter than he had ever done before. "Cheol.. please don't l-leave me.. w-whatever is going on.. we- we can fix this.." He sobbed out on his boyfriends shoulder.
But unfortunate, a painful silence fell over his bedroom. A silence where only Jeonghan's heartbreaking sobs were to be heard. His entire body was trembling. However, he was still able to keep his arms around Seungcheol's tummy, forcing him to stay in that position.
However, Jeonghan already knew the answer to his question..
"R-right..?"
Seungcheol sighed and simply threw Jeonghan's arms off of him, releasing himself from the weak grip and stepping away so Jeonghan couldn't come closer no more. "We can't, Jeonghan. There's nothing to be fixed. I have to get going now."
Seungcheol pulled out his phone again as he checked the time. "I only have five minutes left.. You'll understand me later."
But Jeonghan didn't want to understand it later. He wanted to know what was going on and not a second later. How possessive that might sound. "Y-you can't just.. leave me.. I'm i-in your house.. right now.."
"I'm not coming back Jeonghan. The owner said you can stay in my place."
"B-but.. y-you can't le-leave me.. you made me.. a ...p-pinky promise.." Jeonghan felt helpless at only the thought of Seungcheol leaving him for god knows how long. maybe even for good? His legs felt like pudding and he knew he couldn't stand on his legs for much longer. All he wanted to do was to step forward and to throw his arms around his beautiful broad and safe shoulder. To bury his nose in the crook of his neck. To embrace himself in the safety of his scent. To connect their lips together.
One last time.
One last time before Seungcheol would leave him.
"I have to. It's over Jeonghan. You and I. We're over."
Tears were blurring his vision, but he knew for sure he saw one thing clear. A small tear leaving Seungcheol's eye as well. One he wiped away with the back of his hand in mere of a second before his face returned stone cold again. Making Jeonghan look at him in pure horror and stepping back from the unfamiliar man in front of him.
This wasn't the sweet, loving and always gentle Seungcheol he knew. This was someone else. Some side of him he had never seen before. It had to be.
But before he had the chance to choke out anything else, Seungcheol had turned around and grabbed hold of the door knob. He flung the door open with ease and was about to close it again when he heard Jeonghan say the last words to him, making him stop in his tracks to listen one more time.
"Cheol.. w-wait.. d-do.. do.. do you love me..? Have you ever..l-loved me..?"
Facing Seungcheol's back, that lowered a bit upon hearing the totally unexpected question, made Jeonghan fear for his answer only more. He prayed to god for Seungcheol to give him the answer he wanted to hear, to receive the answer Seungcheol had told him ever since the start.
But sadly, things can't always be how you want them to be.
And in this case, they weren't.
"No."
He waited for a few more seconds before throwing the door back in its lock and leaving the room and his past lover behind.
It rained both inside and outside on the night Seungcheol broke Jeonghan's heart.
