***DARCIE***
okay yeah I'm nervous.
Plane rides make me nervous sometimes depending on how sober I am but the fact that we were on the way to Seattle to meet Micheal's family was just really scary.
"baby calm down" he said holding my hand "it's okay" he chuckled "it's not like we're gonna see them right when we land alright, it's fine, plus they'll love you" he said holding my chin giving it a kiss.
"what if they don't?" ugh why am I so annoying? "well then they are clearly on dope" he laughed, I smiled as I cracked open a book, I've read this one before but I like re-reading, re-doing, re-watching, it's the only way to learn.
"what's this one about?" he asked, I smiled
"Wuthering Heights. well, like most of Brontes work, a strong woman who has to choose between love, or society's acceptance of love. Heathcliff who's been in love with her forever, and Edgar a man who's social status is quite high up there, she kinda torn between the two...there's nothing like a good love triangle, thought this book was great...but I have yet to come up or read a story with a really good love triangle"
"aren't they all the same?"
"I mean yes but no, maybe they just can't compare to real life" I shrugged.
"like what?" he chuckled.
"Pattie Boyd, George Harrison, and Eric Clapton" which now thinking of it was very similar to the dreams I would have of Nikki and Duff, the Demon and Angels on my left and right...
"Pattie and George was true love, it was obvious they loved each other very much. Not saying that she didn't love Clapton, but her love with him was so forced not to mention he's an ass" I said
"Eric Clapton?" he cocked his head, I nodded "mhm, when George and Pattie were having some disagreements and what not Clapton stood outside her window and told her to leave George and start a life with him and if she didn't...he would take a whole vile of heroin....and I'm not being biased just cause I love George"
He laughed "your fucking adorable" he slid his sunglasses up, my stomach feeling all warm and fuzzy.
"so did Pattie and George ever get back together?" he asked
"no" I sighed "George should have ran after her, with some big cheesy monologue and a cigarette hanging out his mouth, and some killer make up/ 'I miss you' sex. But he didn't and now Pattie's still with Clapton, and George is with Olivia...I mean if they're happy I don't care, but you can't stop true love even if it never dies...it's just not right." I paused, Pattie Boyd is one strong woman though going through all that bullshit, I couldn't only wish to be like her...I used to read stories about them in old papers and what not...now that's what I call a love triangle.
"I think it takes a lot of guts to leave someone cause you've fallen for someone else, whether or not your current partner had issues" I continued.
"why's that? if your current partner wasn't treating you right?"
"because at some point if your life you fell in love with that person, yeah they might be a train wreck but you can't dismiss the fact that you did fall in love with them, and at one point that person meant the world to you...if they treat you like shit...they've obviously fell more in love with doing something else other then loving you"
"so George didn't love her enough?" he said
"could be. or maybe he was just too pussy" I shrugged, and pulled the arm rest up and laid my head down on his lap.
" Tommy told me something once..."
It was late at night, and it's not like I was going to sleep. I had dug out all of these cosmos, looking at these perfect girls, not rocker chicks...but rather rocker girlfriends. Beautiful, curvy, blonde, tall, big breasts. Shit I didn't have, not even as a scrawny , flat, plain, small girl could I be considered beautiful, that's what sucks. Your boobs are either too big or too small...but these girls, they had it all. I mean was there something wrong with me? the way I acted? the things I liked? my body? I didn't know what it was.
I sniffled and hugged my legs and held my little teddy bear sitting on my window sill, wiping my snot and tears on my sweater sleeve.
"Darcellyn?" I heard from my door being slowly creaked open, a tall shadow with hair sticking out, he shuffled over to me with his long ass flannel pants and sat beside me. "oh Dar don't cry over this" he said, pulling me as I released any tears I had welling up in my eyes. He held me tight, the cosmo still in my hand, he took the cosmo from my hand, and looked at it. "what did that bastard say to you" he looked at me, as well as all of my studded belts and wristbands and records on the floor in a giant mess.
"h-he said that he doesn't like the idea of a girl liking rock n roll" I sniffled
"wait wait wait hold up-" Duff stopped me, I looked at him, with a "yep". He made a disgusted and angry face, I stroke his arm and smiled, "I would've killed for a rock n roll girlfriend" he muttered.
"wait, really?" Tommy said, I nodded.
"Dar don't don't throw your leather away for this dude" he sucked his teeth and threw the cosmos aside. "This is gonna sound corny but one day someone will love you for who you are, every inch of you, and if you throw away who you are, our rock n roll roots...you're ruining the chance for that someone." he said, I couldn't muster myself up to believe it...I can barely even believe it now.
"and here's something I'm gonna tell you from my experience of being well a dude" he said "were a bunch of cocksuckers, that guy...whoever the fuck he was was probably too pussy to deal and go out with such a sick, awesome, tough girl like you Dar...you might be small but your pretty fucking scary" he said making me chuckle.
"teenage boys especially, but boys in general...were a whole bunch of pussies. We'd be totally whipped for a girl and the girl knows it but our bros don't cause again were just a bunch of fuckin pansies" he laughed
"so don't cry, cause that dude that dumped you is probably in his room jacking off and crying because he realized the mistake he made" Tommy pat my back, and helped me stand up.
"come on let's go sneak out and get some booze" he smile, I chuckled...
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