***DUFF***
Axl and I haven't talked for a few weeks, neither have Axl and Slash, and Darcie's been a bit distant and quiet, which was nagging, all of us haven't eaten together for the last couple of days cause of shit getting tense and awkward, the only time all of us were together is during gigs, Darcellyn has been the hardest, usually if a girl did this shit I'd just put the foot down or just say I'm done, but it wasn't that easy.
....
Today she wrote for a bit. Stayed in bed a lot. Again I'm scared to approach her but worried. Was she sad, mad, both? Everybody stayed in their rooms the entire day doing god knows what, I sat downstairs the entire day on my bass trying to come up with something, Izzy came down once for a cup of coffee, and everyone else was practically dead today. I drank beers all day, I would've downed a whole bottle of vodka but we were out and leaving the house didn't feel right...but I went out and bought one anyway, went out again for coke. I knocked on Slash's door and gave some to him, he looked like shit. Brought down a guitar we had lying around plugged it into an amp and played some shit.
9:00 PM
already? how can a boring day feel so quick?
Slash came down quickly for some food, helped me with a song and went up to take a shower and have in nightly dose before he goes asleep. I've never even done heroin, but I can safely say that heroin is my worst enemy...
I saw a figure in the corner of my eyes walk down the stairs, Darcellyn. "hey" I say.
"hey" her voice soft in almost a whisper. I go to the foot of the stairs, we both stand there for a minute, oh god I have a bad feeling. She was usually straight forward but- "I don't, I don't know which one should be-" she sighed as she looked down, a dark cloud now loomed over me, oh no. "I think we should take a break..." she said, and as those words were said I heard all the boys doors creak open just a bit, I gulped down "and what's the other option Darcellyn?" I asked, she looked at me tears welled up in her eyes, or maybe it was mine cause we all knew what the other option was. She looked down for a minute to swipe the incoming tear away, she quickly looked up at me awaiting for something to come out my mouth, I was waiting too. "why?" I mutter. "it's both of us" she said. "Darcellyn give me an answer give me an answer I can fix, please" I almost plead. "there is no answer" she said. "why are you being like this?" I ask.
"why am I being like this? can't you see I'm doing this for your own good for both of our sakes!"
"actually...no! I actually don't see that at all Darcellyn, I don't even know why you're so upset about it!"
"cause I seem to be the problem in your life right now Micheal!"
"problem? how many time to I have to fucking tell you that you aren't a problem? you are my fucking everything!" I raise my voice a bit.
"that's the problem!" she says getting off the stairs I follow her, we in almost a tango, my blood boiled as I cocked a brow "what that I love you? that you're my everything?"
"yes in fact it is! because you don't give a shit what people say until it's about me! and that sets you off into some manic, macho, alpha, rage" she says "for what? only for you to hurt yourself, hurt other people, pick fights? for what again? for me?" I can't understand is it that bad, is it really that big of a deal?
"what's your problem anyway, why would you let people say shit about you and walk all over you like that?" I said as her hair whipped as she turned around
"oh welcome to jungle Duff , welcome to our fucking world! where people will say shit you don't like and you have sit there with a smile and ignore it like a grown up"
"that's bullshit! you're just scared of everything and you can't speak up cause you're too scared of what else is gonna get thrown at you!" shit not true, not true, reverse time come on!
"scared?" she scoffed "if that's so... you must not know a damn thing about me and we might as well just call it quits" she said as she quickly ran upstairs.
"babe" I call out "don't" she quickly says.
FUCK!
