northstar - cashton

Chapter 20

It was finally Michael's birthday party. It was awkward the first day we were all back together but soon enough we got back into the swing of things. It was easy talking to them again and Calum was actually hilarious around them. Our banter was amazing. I never had friends like this and it felt so special. My mom texted me and said that she could tell I was happier now that we were together again. She only saw me sleeping but since I was actually asleep that means something. I can never sleep when there's conflict. That whole two weeks was horrible. But I got nights of holding Calum.

Since today was the party we had to tell everyone about it. So all day we told random people that we were having a party, making sure that they knew it was Michael's 18th birthday party. Calum didn't say much at school except for lunch when it was just us. Justin wasn't in english class. I wouldn't have noticed if Mrs. Johns didn't ask me about it. It was so awkward. I told her that we weren't together any more and that he was most likely skipping. He deserved to be caught skipping class, he deserves everything negative coming to him. But either way, Calum comforted me after she asked me about him. He distracted me with writing. We wrote a song called Catch Fire. It was different from anything I wrote. It was amazing writing with him and I wanted to sing and play it with the guys. After Michael's party I was going to sleepover and on Saturday we were going to play together for the first time. It was all I wanted to do since I first knew that they were in a band AND they were looking for a drummer. It was just perfect.

As we all piled into my car Michael and Luke were talking about what alcohol they were going to bring to the house before everyone got there.

"Do we really have to drink to have fun?" I groaned, looking at them through my mirror.

"The four of us don't but the rest of your lame ass school does." Michael pointed out.

"You go to this lame ass school Mike," I countered.

"He's not wrong you know," Luke put his hand on Michaels shoulder, like he was consoling him.

"Shut up Luke." Michael sounded serious but he was smiling at all of us.

As we drove farther into the neighborhoods Calum kept looking at me. Yes I was paying attention to the road but also the very hot boy next to me who kept eyeing me.

"Is there something you want to tell Ash?" Michael leaned forward and looked at Calum, I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"No." he whispered, his face quickly gaining color as he turned his body completely towards his window.

"Awh, come on Cal," Michael poked the back of his head, annoying Calum further.

I pulled into their driveway, "Luke, Mike, get out, we will see you at the party, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Luke grabbed Michael and their stuff before Michael could make another remark.

"Where are we going?" he still wouldn't look at me.

"Cal, baby, look at me please." he sighed and turned around, "I'm sorry Michael was being an idiot."

"He's always an idiot, I'm just too sensitive." he shrugged, I didn't want him to feel like that. I wanted him to be confident.

"Well, yeah he's an idiot. But Cal, you can say something now. You don't have to take his shit. You have an opinion and we will listen to it. You finally have the voice you wanted." I didn't know if I was crossing a line but I didn't care because the look on his face showed that it was okay.

"Thank you Ash. Thank you for being here for me and reminding me that I'm a person. I just feel so invisible sometimes and I don't know what to do about it." his eyes were watering.

"I'm always going to be here bub. I will always be here to listen and hold your hand along the way. I promise." I took his hand in mine.

He just sighed and used his other hand to wipe his eyes.

"Thank you Ashton, it means the world to me when you say stuff like that. I'm here for you as well. Now, I'll play some happy, fast, jams and you take us wherever you have planned." he smiled.

I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed the back of it before letting it go and pulling out of their driveway. He plugged in his phone and played something, I didn't see what he clicked on.

"Whatcha playing there Cal?" I had to start thinking of where we were going, I honestly had no idea. I made up the whole thing, I just wanted to be alone with him.

"My sister used to play this song when we were in the car," soon enough My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson was playing.

He sang along quietly so I took it upon myself to turn the volume up almost all the way, just enough so it would slightly hurt our ears.

When it got to the chorus AKA the only part I actually knew, we screamed along with it. We sat at a stop light jamming. I looked to my left and saw an old lady looking at us in amusement. I motioned to Calum that she was there and we just rolled down the windows and sang louder. The light turned green as the song was ending.

"You're kidding me," I smiled as Something Great by One Direction started playing.

"What, it's the only thing that'll make my day better, besides you of course." he smiled back and sang along with Liam for the first verse. We sang together, it was meant to be.

I pulled up to the Cincinnati Museum center. He looked at me like he was confused as to why we were here.

"I loved coming here when I was little. I would just wander around. Last time I was here I was 12 and being the hopeless romantic I am, even at that age, I wanted to come here with someone special. I wanted to be here with someone so that we could just walk and be ourselves and see amazing things and people watch." I explained shyly.

He took my hand in his and smiled at me, "It sounds perfect. Let's go look at random shit."

    I smiled back at him, "Thank you,"

    "No need to thank me, just going to a museum with my..." he hesitated.

    "Boyfriend, you're at the museum with your boyfriend." I completed the sentence for him, making us official.

    "Sounds good,"

    "Feels good," I smiled as we walked hand in hand into the place I felt most comfortable for absolute no reason.

    I felt at home for the first time in a long time. Looking at this amazing person next to me I knew that I would be okay. I knew that one day everything would settle, we'd be able to take a deep breath and just live. I knew that he'd be by my side. I knew he'd lead the way. He's my North Star.

This is the end for now. I'm leaving it open because this book is going to always be near and dear to my heart. I might revisit it when the pressure of writing is lifted or at least lessened. love you guys <3