northstar - cashton

Chapter 13

I woke up to the same alarm that always plays for school. I put it to Helena by My Chemical Romance because it's an amazing song and it can scare the living crap out of you if you don't know it's playing.

I realized quickly that I'd have to face Calum today. But even though it's only tuesday, today is better than yesterday. Instead of seeing everyone for the first time after a horrible night I only have to see Calum and see how he's going to act today.

I got dressed in a dark red sweater that was too big for me and a pair of black skinny jeans. I did what I needed to do to be ready for school and rushed downstairs. I knew my mom wouldn't be awake until she had to leave again so I left her a note, grabbed my keys and walked out the door.

Michael already texted me that they're all driving together today so I could finally drive alone and listen to MCR because I was in that mood. As always the music was almost all the way up but this time I was blasting I'm not okay (I promise) because that was my feelings towards this day. I am not o-fucking-kay.

I parked in my spot, got my bag, and I saw Michael's jeep a couple spots over. I decided it was best to face them now.

I saw Lukes blonde quiff walking away from the jeep, "Luke!" I ran after him.

He turned around smiling at me, "Ashton! How are you mate?"

"I'm good, better, how was the rest of your weekend?" I walked beside him still looking around for the other two boys.

"Calum's not coming to school until tomorrow. He wouldn't get out of bed this morning. Michael's telling the attendance office that he's 'sick'" Luke put air quotes around sick, I mentally frowned that I wouldn't be seeing him today but nodded at Luke. We walked up to the doors and I held it open for him.

"After you sir." I said in my best british accent, waving him into the school.

"What a gentleman," Luke's accent was slightly different but I couldn't tell the difference between his british and his natural aussie.

I just smiled wider and walked in behind him. We had to go our separate ways to our lockers. I quickly unpacked my bag and went to Chem class wanting this week to be over.

The next few days went by without any word from Calum. Lunch wasn't the same without his laughs. He didn't come back until Thursday, everything seemed to be happening at once. One minute I was doing my art project the next I was staring at his empty seat in Chem.

I was so happy to see them all walking into class, almost like the first day of school all over again. But this time Calum didn't even look at me, I couldn't not look at him. I thought about him in everything I did. Every time I looked into someone else's brown eyes I wanted to see his. Every time I sat down to do my chemistry homework I wanted to be next to him helping him. Every time a song came on I wanted to be singing it with him. Every time Michael made a crude joke I wanted to be laughing with him and it was only two days and I missed him.

But now he's back, what hurts the most is that he's quiet now. I want to hear him talk because I know what his voice sounds like. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. And just a short few words he spoke to me I could analyze almost everything about it. I could tell that he had a lisp at one point because when he said "unconditional" I can hear the minor lisp replaying in my mind. His voice was deeper than I thought I would be maybe it's because he hadn't used it in years. All I know is that it was beautiful, it fit him so well it almost seemed robotic. But the words he spoke were so genuine.

Thursday was going along fine, not great but fine when I was walking to lunch and Ellie came up to me.

"Ashton I want to apologize," she looked down at her hands, she wasn't wearing her usual outfit. She was dressed in sweats and a sweatshirt, not her usual dress or skirt. "What I did to you, said to you, I wasn't speaking truthfully. About a month ago I told Justin my deepest darkest secret and he used it against me to make you hurt. Ashton I'm gay and Justin told me that if I didn't stop being friends with you to help me and I couldn't I'm just sorry." At this point she was crying.

I put my hand on her shoulder, "Ellie it's okay. I'd hate for you to have to go through that, No one deserves to be outed. it should always be the person's choice. I'm sorry but Justin is such an asshole. I hate that I ever dated him and brought him into my life. I really hope that we can be friends again because I really missed you." I pulled her into a hug, looking over shoulder Song Luke Michael and Calum staring at us.

"So does that mean that you're out? Have you told your parents?" I pulled away from the hug slightly but still holding her.

"Telling my parents tonight and then I'm posting on Instagram and Twitter because once I do everyone's going to be talking about it. You know how people are at this school." she joked, we pulled away completely and she started drying her eyes.

"You know I'll always support you and be here for you right?" I looked her in the eyes.

"Yes Ash, I know. Go to your friends, they're waiting for you." She smiled and pushed me in their direction.

I walked to them smiling, things were getting back on track.

"What was that about?" Luke asked as we walked into the cafeteria to our usual table.

"Justin was blackmailing her, she didn't actually mean what she said." I gave them the short version.

"Blackmailing her with what?" Michael asked in a judgmental tone.

"Well for your information she's gay, Justin was going to out her to everyone." they all looked shocked at my statement.

"Justin is a fucking prick, I swear one of these days I'm gonna beat his ass." Michael bites his apple aggressively, even though he just looked like a kitten.

"Calm down there big man." Luke put his hand on Mike's shoulder, immediately calming him down.

I looked at Calum who was next to me for the first time in what felt like forever. He looked up at me and smiled a bit. We both blushed and went back to our food, listening to Luke talk about his annoying Psych teacher. Just that small bit of communication gave me hope for this week to turn around.

It didn't. Friday went by like any other day, the whole weekend was filled with doing homework, eating with mom, and watching criminal minds. Even though it was relaxing, I wanted to go to school to see my friends. I didn't want to ask them to hangout because I didn't want to seem desperate or clingy. My mom told me that I shouldn't think like that and the only reason I do is because I was in a toxic relationship and that Justin, and I quote "Fucked up my brain" and that "I need to get my shit together". She's not wrong though.

It was Sunday afternoon when I heard my phone ringing from my room while I was taking a shower. I have been working in the yard with my mom. I was basically done in the shower so I turned off the water grab the towel wrapped around my waist and walked out into the room to get my phone. I saw that it was an unknown number trying to FaceTime me, out of curiosity I answered it. a few seconds later Calums face showed up on my phone.