northstar - cashton

Chapter 10

double update type things

"Bitch get your ass out of bed." Someone pulled my foot, attempting to drag me out of the bed but something wasn't letting me go.

    "Calum let the boy go." that someone was Luke, I realized that I was stuck in a death grip by Calum.

    "Don't let go Cal, I'm comfy," I snuggled into him even more. Once those words left my mouth I got hit over the head with a pillow, "What was that for?"

    "We're going to be late if you two don't get your lazy asses up." Michael said from the doorway.

    "I have a car here, I can drive." Calum had no intention of letting go and neither did I.

    "You're blocking us in, just get up please." Luke begged from the edge of the bed.

    I sighed and attempted to push Calum off of me but he wouldn't budge.

    "Calum, my mom would kill me if I missed school when she's not home." I whispered into his ear, I felt him sigh and let go slowly.

    "See, now was that so hard?" Luke laughed walking out of the room with Michael, "We leave in 5!"

    I groaned and swung my legs over the side of the bed turning my back to face Calum.

    "Can I borrow a tee-shirt?" I asked looking down at my muscle tee with paint on it. I rubbed my eyes and got hit with a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans.

    "Dude, you're amazing." I smiled, getting up to go to the bathroom. I changed, brushed my teeth, washed my face and used someone's deodorant. I'm sure they won't care, I saw Luke use Michaels toothbrush yesterday.  I walked out of the bathroom with my clothes in hand. I realized that the jeans were actually a bit long on me, somehow his legs are longer than mine so I cuffed my black skinny jeans. He gave me a forest green sweatshirt that had 'empathy' embroidered on it. I felt safe in his clothes, like no one could bring me down. Then I thought about why I was up at this heinous hour, we had to go to school. Where Justin would be, where everyone who saw me at the party would be.

I could feel my chest tightening as I went downstairs to the kitchen. All I could think about were the looks I was going to get, the whispers. I can already see Justin glaring at me in English just not in the same way as last week.

"You okay there mate?" Luke asked, pulling me out of my panicked trance.

"Not really but I'll be okay." I smiled at him, putting my bag over my shoulder, "We can take my car and I can bring you guys home. But you three have to sit in the back, I have to pick up my friend Ellie." they just nodded in response.

Right as we were about to call for him, Calum came running down the stairs, grabbed his bag and turned the corner so fast I thought he was animated.

"Calm down there dude, we're not late but you do have to sit in the back." I told him laughing a bit at his silliness.

He just nodded and threw his bag in the trunk with the rest. We all got in the car and I called Ellie on the speaker phone in my car.

"What?" she snapped, I was shocked to say the least.

"I just wanted to call you cause I'm on my way to your house and I have the guys with me." I said slowly trying to understand why she had that tone.

She sighed, "I don't need a ride from a whore."

"What?" I muttered, gripping the steering wheel tighter.

"Do I need to repeat myself whore? The only reason Justin cheated on you is because you cheated on him with that mute freak, don't ever talk to me again." she hung up, and left me crying but still on my way to school.

"Ashton, pull over." Luke said calmly, so I did.

He got out of the car and opened my door to let me out, "Thanks." I attempted to smile at him.

"Don't mention it." he smiled back. I got up and got into the passenger seat still crying.

"Why does shitty stuff always have to happen to me?" I asked no one in particular.

"As Siruis Black said to Harry Potter, 'I want you to listen very carefully to me, Harry. You are not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things happen to. Besides the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.'" Michael quoted entirely correctly.

"How do you just remember that?" I asked seriously, turning around in my seat to look at him.

"Magic, Ashton, magic." He winked at me, causing me to roll my eyes but also laugh.

"I'm sorry that she called you a whore. We all know that you didn't cheat on Justin with Calum." Luke tried to comfort me.
"I don't care about the word, it's just the fact that if she thinks that, then the whole school probably does and she didn't even let me explain or talk she just hung up and let Justin win. She knew how he was, she wanted me to break up with him on the first day of school. How could she just do that?" I started crying again, not sobbing, just silent tears.

    "I'm sorry Ash." Michael apologized for something that wasn't even his fault.

    I didn't have the strength to say anything to him. I just tried to breathe as we got into the school parking lot. I knew today I'd have at least one panic attack and I didn't want to have it in the fucking parking lot.

I composed myself, made sure I looked decent and got out of the car and walked to the trunk to get my bag. Luke handed me the key, which I thanked him for, and put it in my pocket with my phone. Calum wouldn't meet my eyes as he got his bag out last. My heart hurt when he walked slower and stayed further back as if he didn't want to be near me. Maybe I am a whore like Ellie said, maybe I don't deserve love.

I took a deep breath, pushed open the doors and walked into hell. No one gave me a second glance, no one cared. I let out a giant sigh thinking that this day wouldn't be so bad. I was wrong, I went to my locker without the guys since their lockers were on the other side of the building, and I saw Justin eating the Target guys face. Of course he had to do that in front of me. If I did that Ellie would be calling me a whore again. I just did what I needed in my locker and went to Chemistry where I'd see the guys again.
I sat down in my seat and put in my headphones, turning on some All Time Low. I didn't notice the guys coming in but I think they knew I didn't want to be bothered. Calum sat further from me than he ever has and it hurt more than Bambi's mom's death at age 6. I wanted him to be here for me like he has been but I guess he doesn't want to associate with a whore.

I could feel my eyes begin to water for the third time today, I got up from my seat and asked Mr. Wilson if I could go to the bathroom. He gave me a swift nod and I went quickly trying to not let the tears slip over before I got to the stall. I walked in, closed the door and let out the tears that were meant for Calum.
Why would he want to even be near me? Why did anyone truthfully. Did they pity me? Does my mom think I'm weak? I am weak, I've been crying for days whenever someone makes the smallest comment. Why am I so weak?

im so sorry about how sad this chapter is i was in MY FEELS DUDE