In Another Life | PJM ✓

✎ 22

       I am dying and I'm sorry for being so selfish because I let you into my life without knowing what you were signing up for.

       You deserved to know, Jimin.

       We all make choices, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but what we tend to forget is that our decisions can affect other people, too. I'm sorry because I thought I was protecting you from keeping something like this from you.

       I tried so hard to avoid saying that word in this notebook because I hopelessly thought that as long as it was never written down, it would never happen. That I wouldn't die.

       If you're reading this, I guess I couldn't make the impossible happen.

       But maybe, dying isn't the end of a journey. People don't exactly simply die because memories will live on even after their death, meaning they will stay alive forever.

       When I found out my time on earth was numbered, I was lost on what to do with the time I had left. I was barely an adult, dying young wasn't exactly in the plans I had envisioned for my future. It took me a while to make peace with that fact and even longer to find the answer to the question: What should I do with these last few months of my life?

       And my answer: Make the most out of the life I was given.

       I could've chosen to live the rest of my limited life with anger and resentment. Rage and jealousy. Indignation and hatred.

       Instead, I chose to rise above those negative emotions and focus on the people I loved. Because life isn't about taking revenge or being bitter, it's about leaving the world with more love in it than when I first arrived. And there was the foolish thought that maybe if I lived every moment to its fullest, there's a chance I'll scare even death away.

       But you still deserved to know my secret, Jimin.

■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■

"Jimin-ah, are you ready to go?" Taehyung peeked his head in Jimin's room, where the latter was standing in front of his mirror with a tie in his hand.

Taehyung slowly padded into the room, taking the tie from Jimin's hand and stood in front of him.

"We're finally graduating, why don't you seem excited about that?" Taehyung asked, as he secured the tie around Jimin's neck for him. Jimin remained silent, a distant look settled in his eyes.

It had been a week. A week without talking to Ayla. A week without seeing her on campus. A week without her in his life.

And he couldn't really complain.