My Summer Love Story | ✔️

ch. 40 ✰ when everything falls apart

"What do you want to talk about?" Akash furrows his brows, his face masked with confusion. I mutter to myself and step inside of his room, and he shuts the door behind me. "Is everything okay?" he asks again.

"Uh, well... I don't know," I blabber, pacing back and forth. "I'm still thinking about- about what Ali said tonight."

Akash takes a deep breath in, and I find myself studying his room. His room is way cleaner than mine: his bed is nicely made, the furniture is not skewed over like mine, and even the aura of this room is probably less hectic than mine. How the hell does a man have a better-looking room than me?

"You mean when he asked us what we were?" I turn around when his deep and husky voice speaks up. His blue eyes rake over me, more concerned of what I am talking about rather sympathetic or emotional. Why is he acting so weird all of a sudden? And why isn't he taking this seriously like I am?

"Yes" is all I say. I look down at the ground, my cheeks burning with frustration.

I feel him walking towards me, and I quickly look up, just to see that he is inches away from me. His thumb suddenly caresses my cheek, and his eyes are placed on me, his lips curled into a genuine smile. "Well, what do you want us to be?"

Disappointment forms inside of my stomach as I quickly put on a stern expression. That's it? That's all he's going to say? "I-I'm confused," I murmur.

His thumb soon leaves my cheek as both of his arms limp beside him. "Why are you confused?" he asks.

I let out a derisive snort. "Do you not get it, Akash? Do you not get what I'm trying to say here?" All he does is shake his head, and his lips are pursued into a frown. Rolling my eyes, I turn away from him and go for the windows placed on the other side of the room, where the bright moon is boldly portrayed.

"You are probably the most confusing man I ever met," I murmur to myself, placing my hands on my face as I let out a groan. Akash hastily steps beside me, and he blurts out, "I don't get what you're trying to say here."

I step away from the window and turn towards him, my face inches from his. "You don't get it, huh? Well, let me tell you this," I take a deep breath. "During the conversation we were having tonight, Ali had asked us a simple question, which was: what are you guys? And when he had asked that, you had the audacity to say, I don't know. What the hell do you mean by I don't know? Because that certain phrase does not particularly pertain to us confessing our feelings to each other, having sex dozens of times, and stripping naked and making out in the ocean!"

Once those words had left my mouth, his lips parted open, and he sighed, defeat veiled on his face. He clenched his jaw, and for the thousandth time, I simply cannot understand what exactly he is feeling right now. Akash is just too complex, and just thinking about what he's thinking makes my brain implode from fury.

Finally, he speaks. "I want to be with you, Reeya. I really do." Fuck, I know there's a but involved in this.

"But there's so much still you don't know about me, and I am just not ready to open up."

I knew it. I knew he was going to say.

I let out an uneasy breath and fixate my eyes with his. "Why aren't you ready to open up? Is it because you don't trust me?"

"Shit, Reeya, it's not because I don't trust you!" His voice slightly rises due to anger as I feel my heart lurch with fear. Once he sees the frightened look on my face, his voice simmers down to a respectable volume. "I trust you so much, more than anything. But the things that I've been through..." he presses his lips together. "Just saying what I've been through makes my heart crack with despair, and I am just not ready to go through that again."