I Can't Die, So WHY AM I HERE!? (Is This A Zombie? x KonoSuba Crossover)

Chapter 2: I'm A Zombie, Ya Dingbat

Ayumu: "Uhh... Aqua?"

Aqua: "What zombie-breath?"

Ayumu: "We're broke..."

Flashback

The unlikely pair of zombie and Goddess arrive at the town Adventurer's Guild, walking in the door to see that it's a pretty chill place. Not very busy, but it does seem to be like one of those taverns you'd see in a fantasy movie or something.

'Waitress': "Woo! People ask me if I'm a man or a woman. And I tell them 'Neither, cause I'm a corporeal she-male with a massive cock-a-doodle-' whoops!" 'she' drops a few mugs of beer. "Fuck! Dropped your order. Beer for everyone! Lick it up, you sluts!"

Ayumu: "...huh?" He ignores the 'waitress'. "Whatever, let's find jobs."

Heading over to someone with the same uniform as the hermaphroditic waitress, but sitting behind a counter, the duo try to find out how exactly to fight the Demon King.

Ayumu: "Excuse me, I need-"

Receptionist: "Woah! Look, I told you! I'll get the money by the end of the week! Please don't tear my clothes off in the heat of the moment and have your way with me to fulfill your frustration at my debt!"

Ayumu: "WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! Ooookay, I never expected to hear that, nor did I want to. Look, we're not with whoever you were expecting. We just need some information."

Receptionist: "Oh, good... I thought-"

Ayumu: "Yeah, we get it! Now, how exactly do things work around here? Do we just take on jobs or what?"

Receptionist: "A prospective adventurer? Excellent, sir! First, you'll need to register here with the guild. You'll receive your adventurer's card and then you'll be eligible to take on quests. Depending on the nature of the quest, it can either have a time limit, which is more common, or it can be completed at your leisure. After it is confirmed complete, I will dispense your reward. If you are a party leader, it shall be up to you to determine shares. As you complete quests, you'll level up and you can use your skill points to learn skills. Of course, many skills require a teacher or at least you having seen the skill to learn it. Those are the basics of adventuring here in Axel and my name is Luna."

Ayumu: "So we need to register first, huh? Alright, so how do we do that?"

Luna: "First, you'll need to pay the registration fee. That'll be 1000 Eris for the two of you.

Ayumu: "Umm... Registration fee? Aqua, do have any of these elusive Eris she speaks of?"

Aqua: "No, dumbass. I'm a Goddess, not your personal bank! We don't need money in the afterlife!"

Ayumu: "Well, starving to not even death sounds like fun."

Aqua: "Well, why don't we go on a mission?"

Ayumu: "Because we need to register to go on missions. And for the record, you are the last person who can call me a dumbass."

Aqua: "Hey, I-"

Back to Present

Aqua: "Owie..."

After righteously hitting Aqua over the head, Ayumu and the useless Goddess sit down at a table, trying to come up with a way to get money.

Ayumu (thoughts): 'No money means no jobs. No jobs means no fighting the Demon King. No fighting the Demon King means no going home. And no going home means-"

(A/N Our main character will sometimes have these delusions of characters, mainly Eu. As such, this delusion version of her will have the designation 'Fantasy Eu'. In the event that there are multiple of her, they will be numbered.)