I woke up and just wanted to go right back to sleep knowing what day it is today. I got up put a little bit of make up, not to much, knowing I was gonna cry like hell. I put on my all black outfit and dressed my kids in their outfits as well. They were aware of what's going on but I still don't think they understood it to the full extent. I haven't sen him since that day in the hospital and I'm just nervous to see him in his coffin.
We got to the church where the funeral was held and once people saw me they all started hugging me and Angelo and Valentina. They were crying with us, saying a lot of nice words to us and just tried to lift our spirits. I really appreciated it, but there's not much that can help right now. I was nervous, knowing I'm the one that's holding the speech. But I did it for Nick and I would do anything for Nick.
"Welcome friends and family. Most of you probably know who I am, but for those of you who don't, I am Chantel, Nicks wife. First of I want to thank everybody that's here today and everybody that has sent condolences via phone calls, messages, visits, meals and prayers. It has brung a lot of comfort and it makes us happy seeing what kind of impact Nick had on everyone.
Nick was the most amazing husband a woman could ask for but also the most amazing father, son, brother and friend. We all admired him one way or another and we were so thankful for everything he has done for us. Through thick and thin he's always there. Unfortunately he's not here with us anymore but he will forever live on in our hearts and memories.
Four years ago I made the best decision in my life and that was to marry the love of my life. I knew in my heart that there is no one better for me and it has all been proven. Our personalities complimented each other and we made everything work. Whenever I needed to talk he was right there, whenever I was in danger he was there. We were so connected that we just knew when something was wrong, without even talking.
My story with Nick has been very crazy. We've done a lot together and I'm thankful he gave me the children we have today. They loved him dearly. Everyday was a blast with him around, if the kids were sad or angry he always knew how to make them laugh which I never understood how he did. I just look at them and see Nick in front of me. Nick's mannerisms, gestures, personality and the same love Nick used to spread.
He was exceptional, someone not many people get to meet. Nick's smile could light up a room and even though he has made mistakes in his life that I know he regrets, he always did his best to change and learn from his mistakes. He was brave and cared for everyone, he would risk his life for the people he loved.
Although my family, friends and I stand deeply grieved by the loss of one of the pillars in our family, we are also thankful for the chance to have had him in our lives. We may have lost him physically now but I know as well as he did that one day we will reunite. And as we eagerly wait for that day, we keep him in our minds and thoughts, where his memory will live on for as long as we do."
I walked of the stage with tears in my eyes and I heard sniffles from everywhere. I sat in between my children as they both hug me which was very needed. It was time for Nick's casket to be opened. I let Angelo and Valentina go with Cindy and Maggie as they couldn't bare to see him again. I didn't want them to see him laying lifeless like that. Debbie and I walk up to the now opened casket. Seeing his face again brought me to my knees. I couldn't stand seeing him laying there. Debbie hugged me and Zion brought me back up to me feet.
"It's okay honey."
Debbie whispers. I blow my nose and place the flowers I bought gently on his body. I just wanted to wake him up but he was in an endless sleep, and there was nothing I could do. I look at Nicks brother, Chris. He looked at me and we hugged. We have never had an emotional encounter before but we were both super emotional.
"Thank you."
He says as tears were falling.
"For what Chris?"
"For making him so happy. Before he met you he was pretty dull and he just wasn't himself. But you came into his life and you brought back the old Nick we all loved, not to mention the nephew and niece you guys brought into my life."
He says. I smile at him and hug him once again.
"Trust me, Nick changed me as well."
Suddenly I hear Debbie gasp. I turn around and there stood Lorenzo. Debbie still hasn't met him since the day he left. They've spoken on the phone but she hasn't seen him in years. She refused to visit when he was around, knowing how much it hurt her, I understood. But now Lorenzo was in front of her with tears falling and slowly his arms rose up and opened. He walked closer and hugged her, she was just crying and then her arms reached around his torso. I believe that even though he has put her through a lot of shit, she still felt some kind of safety in his arms.
"I'm sorry Debbie."
He says. She looks at him as tears were falling.
"Don't be. We've both messed up."
She says. He hugs her again and she hugs back.
"I never thought I would ever hug you again."
She says giggling. He smiles as they keep hugging while looking at Nick. He's probably so happy right now, seeing his parents finally getting along.
