"You said, no you sang, you sang that everything was gonna be alright. You said that we'll be alright, Harry. But did you mean that?"
Where Belle Olivia Granger encounters five young boys who happen to be in the biggest boyband on the planet, and sh...
I know why I started wearing the pearls again. I think I truly knew all along, I was simply too ignorant to acknowledge it.
Everything I told Belle back in December was nothing but the truth. As hard as it was to admit, especially to a woman who I believed didn't feel the same and was right not to, each and every word that spilled from my mouth, that burst through the tears, was true. For me, it has always been her, and no matter how hard I've ever tried to change that, I can't, and now I know I never will be able to.
The moment she left that hotel after I backed her into a wall like a madman, I knew she wouldn't be back. I didn't deserve to have her back.
My own drunk mind got the best of me, I found the first girl who resembled my Georgia Rose in anyway, and I lost control. Much to my surprise, Belle did come back only to find me with someone else which I'm positive sealed the deal even more.
She was done with me. We were done, and it was my fault. I ruined the greatest thing I'd ever known, because I couldn't look inward enough to fix the internalized toxicity within myself. Even after what has been four long miserable years, I thought I'd succeeded in abolishing it all, but the moment she came back to me by some twist of fate, I fucked it up again like I'm too good at doing.
Seeing Belle that night at my show made me forget I even had a girlfriend in the first place. As awful as that sounds, it's true. I could have sworn Belle was just a figment of my imagination, all the lights and adrenaline getting to my head, but the more that I blinked with anticipation that she'd vanish, she never did.
That was my chance!
Or at least I thought it was. My apology that night on the beach was such a sad excuse for sorry. Even though I meant it, Belle would hardly let me get any of it out before she was trying to share the blame and assure me that all was forgiven.
She can never just accept that she's innocent in anything, always looking to blame herself before she'll push it on someone else. I think part of her has aways blamed herself for what happened with her parents, and that asset of her mind is why she's always been so cold. The closer she gets to people, the more reasons she has to look for condemnation.
I wear the pearls, because she always looks for the good in people even when they've hurt her.
For one night, I was able to shut down my self-deprecating thoughts long enough to actually believe I might be good enough for Belle. Our long talk that night that led into the morning was just enough to bring me solace.
So much so that I even invited her to go out to coffee with me.
However, I soon realized how stupid that idea was when she removed the pearls from her neck that I was already shocked enough to see her wearing, only to clasp them on me. Like a landslide, everything came rushing back from the way I felt like I could never deserve Belle to how much I hated myself for a strange toxicity that I know my mother didn't raise me to have.
