Be The Bride

IKA-NAPULO'G SIYAM

ALLEGORY..

“So tama ako. It was never a coincidence," sabi ko.

I saw her smirked na nagpainis sa akin.

“Why? What’s the point of making me your wedding maker? What’s the point of preparing my dream wedding?”

“To show you that he’s not your Khyree Jared anymore. But mine.”

This time ako ang napaismik. May something sa way ng pagsasalita niya na sobrang nakakainis.

“Really? He’s not my Khyree Jared anymore? He’s yours?”

Tinaasan niya lang ako ng kilay. This is the first time na nakita ko si Klara na ganito ang pakitungo sa akin.

“I just heard YOUR Khyree Jared earlier in his hospital bed, saying he still loves me," mariin kong sabi.

Nakita kong nagulat siya.

“So before blabbing, check. Baka nasa’yo yung titulo, pero ako pala yung totoong may-ari,” sabi ko at tumayo na bago pa ako makapagsabi ng kung ano.

NUNG NAKASAKAY ako ng taxi, napasabunot ako sa sarili ko. Gulong-gulo na ako.

“Okay ka lang maam?”

Napatingin ako sa driver.

“Opo manong,” sabi ko nalang at napaayos ng upo.

Tapos maya-maya nagsalita ako.

“Manong?”

“Bakit po maam?”

“May kaibigan kasi ako. Ikakasal na yung ex niya. Tapos biglang nagtapat yung ex niya na mahal pa daw siya. Tapos yung kaibigan ko, may boyfriend. Anong gagawin nung kaibigan ko sa sitwasyon niya?”

“Naku ang hirap naman niyang sitwasyon niyo maam.”

“Ho? Hindi po ako.. yung kaibigan ko po.”

“Ay, oo yung kaibigan mo pala.”

Phew.. si manong talaga..

“Kung titignan mo, parang ang komplikado nung sitwasyon. Pero simple lang naman ang solusyon.”

“Talaga po? Ano po?”

“Puso.”

“Po?”

“Alam mo maam, sa buhay, okay lang naman magkamali ng paulit-ulit. Okay lang masaktan. Kasi lahat ng yun ay maghahatid sa atin sa tamang daan. Kung pakiramdam mo walang kasiguraduhan, pagkatiwalaan mo ang puso mo. Minsan kasi, alam na ng puso natin ang dapat gawin, ayaw lang natin magtiwala," sabi niya at tapos nginitian niya ako.

--

“Ran..”

“Hmm?”

We’re here at Coffee’s and Cake’s, grabbing a snack together.

“Khy told me..” I said trailing my sentence.

Tinignan niya ako. “He told you what?”

Napalunok ako.

“He said he still loves me.”

He stopped his spoon mid-air, at tapos ibinaba ito.

“I see,” sabi niya lang.

“I just thought you ought to know.”

Nakahawak lang siya sa kutsara niya at pinaikot ikot ito sa kape. Nakayuko lang siya as if he is pondering what to say.

“Do you know what’s the similarities of driving and loving?” biglang sabi niya.

“Uhmm no..”

“In driving, you have the steering wheel. It’s up to you which direction and destination you want to go. Love is like that Karen. Your will, is your steering wheel. Love is a choice. It’s up to you. Everything is up to you. Because you’re the driver.”

We stayed silent and we let that thought hang in the air.

It’s up to me?

I’m the driver? Love is a choice?

Is he saying I should choose?

“Mahal kita Karen. Just know that.”

And I can’t utter a word to him. I’m so ashamed and embarassed.

Hinatid niya ako sa apartment ko. Pareho kaming lumabas at umupo sa hood ng kotse niya.

“I love the way you make me feel Ran. I feel so at home when I’m with you. You make me feel careless.”

“Wow, I’m flattered,” he said and it made me giggled.

“I like you,” I said.

He stared at my eyes at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

“You see Karen, liking and loving are two different things. And it’s quite greedy if you wish to feel both.”

“Hindi ba pwede?”

He gave me a very kind smile.

“In the end, you know you’ll have to choose right?”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

I have to choose..

“Do I have to?” I said.

“You have to, honey. I wish nothing but happiness for you. Whoever makes you happy, even if it’s not me, it’s fine for me.”

“Ran..” I said almost crying.

I wish like he said, I can turn the steering wheel wherever I want. I hope this drive, is not an automated one. I wish, that like a driver, I can drive to wherever I want.

Sana nga natuturuan ang puso.