Be The Bride

IKA-KAWHAA'G USA

VISITOR..

Isang buwan nalang, ikakasal na si Khy. Kaya busy na ang WWM sa pagprepare. I tried so hard to keep my mind on track, to not think about him. At siguro ay nagets na niya ang gusto ko dahil wala na siyang paramdam.

“Kareng?”

Without looking at Ani, nakatingin pa rin ang mga mata ko sa computer, I answered him.

“Yes?”

“Someone’s here..”

Napatingin ako sa kaniya at napatayo ako kaagad nung nakita ko kung sino.

“Khy..”

Parang ramdam ni Ani ang atmosphere, kaya nag-excuse na din siya agad.

Why is he here? Kakasabi ko lang na nagets na niya ang gusto ko, and now he’s here?

“I don’t want to see you," I said to dismiss him.

“Ouch, that’s a stab straight to the heart. How brutal Emi.”

“Why are you here?” diretso kong sabi.

Ayoko na! Ayoko nang maguluhan dahil sa kanya!

“To see you. You don’t answer my calls, you don’t reply to any of my messages, do you wanna see me go crazy?”

“Shut up.”

“Isang buwan nalang Emily, please, do this with me. I love you.”

“Please.. just, just shut up.”

Napahilamos siya sa mukha niya.

“The wedding, I can’t do it Emi.”

Magsasalita na sana ako but then biglang sumilip si Ani sa pintuan.

“Kareng? Your boyfie is here.”

And from the door, emerged Ran with his loose tie, and a smiling face. His smile immediately dropped nung nakita niya kung sino ang kasama ko.

Agad siyang lumapit sa akin at hinawakan ako sa braso at itinago sa likod niya.

“Dude, you’re aware right? Na inaagaw mo ang girlfriend ko? At walang matinong boyfriend ang papayag na mangyare yun,” Ran said.

“I’m not trying to steal anyone here. She’s already mine to begin with.”

Nagulat ako sa sinabi ni Khy. At naramdaman kong nagkaron ng tension sa katawan ni Ran. I can feel it by the way he tightened his grip on my arm.

“Nobody here is yours," Ran said in gritted teeth.

“In title, she’s yours. I can’t argue. But by heart, you know dude, your girlfriend loves me.”

“SHUT UP KHY!” napasigaw na ako.

I can’t believe he said that to Ran!

“Get out,” I said to Khy.

Tinignan niya muna ako at umalis na rin. At muntikan na akong matumba, but Ran grabbed me.

“I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..” I said again and again while crying.

I feel so sorry.. and I feel so bad for him. I hate myself.

“Don’t say sorry. It’s true anyway.”

Mas napaiyak ako sa sinabe niya.

“Why Ran? Bakit ka nagtitiis sa’kin? I’m hurting you all the time, why do you still want to stay?” I said crying.

“Because you make me happy too. And I love you.”

Oh God..

What am I supposed to do?

Pinunasan niya ang mga luha ko gamit ang kamay niya.

“D*mn, you still look so pretty when you’re crying.”

Lalo akong napaiyak sa sinabe niya..

“Ran naman eh!!!” iyak ko.

Napatawa siya..

“What?”

“Stop saying such romantic things. Naiiyak ako lalo,” sabi ko.

He chuckled and kissed my head.

“Stop crying. I want my girlfriend’s self-made coffee.”

Napatawa ako kahit may tumutulo pang luha sa mga mata ko.

For me, Ran is like the sunshine. When he’s there, I always laugh. When he’s there, I always feel okay.

--

After taking a shower, naghanda na ako para matulog. And as I lay on my bed sideways, naramdaman kong may yumakap sa bewang ko.

Napabalikwas ako ng bangon.

“What the f*ck! Khy?! What are you doing here?!” gulat na gulat kong sabi.

Anong ginagawa niya dito in the middle of the night?

“Pano mo nalaman ang passcode ko?!!”

“You haven’t changed Emily. Ginagamit mo pa rin ang birthday ko bilang passcode mo sa mga bagay-bagay.”

Napaiwas ako ng tingin.

Sh*t! Ba’t kasi di ko pinalitan! Sh*t!

Nasanay na kasi ako na birthday niya ang gamitin bilang passcode. Sa fb ko, email, at kung ano-ano pa. At hindi ko na pinalitan kasi makakalimutin ako.

“Do you know what you look like to me right now?” sabi ko.

Tinignan niya ako at nag-antay sa sasabihin ko.

“A womanizer. A cheating fiancee. Gusto mo ba talaga na ganyan ang maging tingin ko sayo?”

“Hindi.”

“Then go home," I said.

Bigla niyang hinigit ang braso ko dahilan para mapahiga ako sa tabi niya.

Niyakap niya ako agad. And no matter how I squirmed, hindi ako makaalis sa yakap niya.

“Nagseselos ako,” he said kaya napatigil ako.

“You don’t have the right to get jealous,” sabi ko.

“Kung nakabase sa karapatan ang nararamdaman, edi sana wala ako dito ngayon. Wala akong karapatan, pero eto ang nararamdaman ko.”

I can smell his body wash. I can smell Khyree Jared. Sh*t.

“I love your smell..” he said habang inaamoy ang buhok ko.

“Khy, you shouldn’t be here.”

“But I’m here Emily. I’m here.”

“Kaya nga.. it’s not right..”

Nagitla ako nung bigla siyang umalis sa yakap at itinaas ang ulo, habang nakatukod ang isang braso sa kama. Ang lapit ng mukha niya sa akin. And I feel like there are tiny needles pinching my cheeks right now.

“I can violate the right things for you.”

“I don’t want you violating the right things.”

“Is loving you a sin?” he asked innocently.

“It’s a sin.”

Tumango siya.

“Stop me, if you don’t want me,” he said before taking my mouth on his.

Ang lakas ng kabog ng puso ko, it’s too loud that I can’t hear anything else but the loud banging in my chest.

And then I closed my eyes, and responded to his kisses.

Ran might be the sunshine to me, but Khy is like the world to me. He’s everything.