Be The Bride

IKA-KAWHAA'G UNOM

RIGHT AND WRONG..

“Gurlalo, nasa labas na naman si Khy.”

Hindi ako kumibo.

“Gurl?”

“Tell the guards to escort him out. And not to let him in again,” sabi ko lang.

Tatlong araw na siyang pabalik-balik sa kompanya. But I never went out to meet him.

I busied myself the whole day.

Napatingin ako sa relo ko. 8 pm na. Gabi na pala. Tinawagan ko si Ran na sunduin ako.

Niligpit ko ang mga gamit ko para umuwi na. Ako nalang ang naiwan sa kompanya. Paglabas ko ng building nagulat ako kasi andun siya.

Hindi ko siya pinansin.

“Emi..”

Don’t talk to him! Don’t!

“Please, look at me. Please.. atleast let me hear your voice,” sabi niya na parang nagmamakaawa.

Hindi parin ako kumibo.

“Emily..”

I stayed silent.

“Emily please..” pagmamakaawa niya.

I prayed na sana dumating na kaagad si Randolf. Kasi hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa siyang balewalain pag nagtagal ako dito.

“Please.. talk to me. I can’t live without you. I.. it’s so painful Emily. Whenever I think of a life without you, ang sakit.”

Please.. please..

Someone make him stop. Pag narinig ko pa ang mga salita niya, I might give in. I might run to him and hug him. Kaya please, please.. someone make him stop.

“Mahal mo ako. Mahal kita. Then why are we suffering like this? Why do we have to suffer?!”

Khy.. please.. please stop..

“You think by making me marry her, you are protecting them from pain?”

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

“You’re wrong Emily. With your decision, you’re hurting yourself, you’re hurting me, and you’re hurting them both.”

Magsasalita sana ako but I was stopped by the honking sound of Ran’s car.

Lumabas si Randolf sa kotse niya, binuksan yung pinto ng kotse at tinignan ako.

“Karen?” tawag ni Ran.

Without giving Khy a glance, I went inside of Ran’s car.

Hindi kaagad pinaandar ni Ran ang kotse. While his hands are on the steering wheel, he stared at me.

“Do you really wanna left him there?”

Napaiwas ako ng tingin at sumandal sa upuan. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga niya at tapos naramdaman ko ang paglapit niya sa akin at pagkabit niya ng seatbelt sa akin. Hindi na ako kumibo at ipinikit lang ang mga mata ko.

Then habang nagda-drive siya, I crawled my hand to his free hand and intertwined it. Napatingin siya sa akin dahil dun. Napangiti siya.

“I really like the feel of your hands," he said smiling.

“Me too. I like your hands. It’s big and warm.”

Nung nakarating kami pinatay niya ang makina.

“I love you Karen and I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

Nginitian ko lang siya at tapos hinalikan sa pisngi.

--

4 DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING..

Bukas ay pupunta na kami ng Maragsa to prepare for the wedding. Bukas rin pupunta na ang families at mga bisita nila. It’s just a family wedding with their few friends.

“Kareng, hindi mo na kailangan sumama dun. Kami na bahala. I think it’s better kung dito ka nalang.”

“I think I have to. Kailangan kong makita siyang ikasal for me to finally wake up. For my closure. I need to do this for myself.”

Niyakap ako ni Ani.

“Just know gurl, I’m always here for you.”

“I know. I-ready mo maraming tissue ah.”

Napatawa kami pareho. That might sound like a joke, but there’s truth in there. I’m sure, ilang tissue ang masasayang.

Umuwi ako ng maaga sa apartment to prepare my things na dadalhin ko sa Maragsa. We will be staying there for 3 days so marami-rami ang kailangan kong dalhin.

While I’m in the middle of preparing my dinner, nakarinig ako ng sigaw sa labas. I’m not sure if I heard it right, pero parang si Khy?

Or nag-i-imagine na naman ako?

Binalewala ko nalang..

Kaya lang,

“EMILY! EMILY!”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Agad akong lumabas ng apartment, at pagkalabas ko, bumungad sa akin ang isang lasing na Khyree.

“You changed your passcode,” he said na halatang lasing.

Binago ko na nga ang passcode ko.

“You’re drunk. Go home.”

“I’m home Emi. This is our home.”

“Umalis ka na please," pagtataboy ko sa kanya.

Nakayuko lang siya. And he didn’t say anything.

“Khy, umuwi ka na.”

Hindi siya kumibo. Hanggang sa nakita ko ang pagtaas baba ng mga balikat niya.

Is he--

“Umiiyak ka ba?”

Itinaas niya ang ulo niya at tinignan ako. And yes, he is crying.

“I want to run away with you.”

“Your wedding is only four days away. Umayos ka.”

“Talaga bang okay lang sayo?”

Hindi ako nakasagot.

“Look into my eyes and tell me to marry her.”

Parang may malaking bagay ang nakapatong sa dibdib ko. Hindi ako makahinga. Kahit nahihirapan ay nagsalita ako.

“Marry her.”

Bumagsak ang mga balikat niya.

“Yan ba talaga ang gusto mo?”

“That’s the right thing to do.”

“You think so? Yun ang tama? Pano mo nasabi?”

“Khy!”

“Yun talaga gusto mo?”

“Oo.”

“Edi okay. Fine. I’ll marry her.”

And I feel like I got stabbed in the heart for a hundred times.

“You’ve always chosen the right thing. Kahit gano mo kagusto ang isang bagay, if it can’t be, it can’t be. That’s why I thought you’d also choose the right thing this time. But I was wrong," sabi niya at tinalikuran na ako.

I am wrong?

Mali ba ako ng piniling gawin?

Mali ba?

Alin ba kasi ang tama! Alin ang mali! I can’t seem to see what is right and not. HINDI KO NA ALAM!