Experience Me

Chapter 9

"So you mean to tell me that the only reason the guy was interested in me is that I have on a crop top?" I eyed Silas with complete bewilderment.

"No. I'm saying that I don't approve of your shirt because it's showing skin. It's so revealing that the guy couldn't take his eyes off you. Now that isn't to say that he wasn't drawn to you for your beauty, but from the way he was looking at you, his intentions were obvious." I was thoroughly at a lost for words. He was being completely serious, yet I couldn't wrap my head around the logic behind his argument.

"First of all, I don't need you're "approval" of my wardrobe. I'm a grown woman and I am fully capable of dressing myself. Secondly, how are my clothes revealing? My body is covered."

"Not completely."

I was starting to get irritated with this ridiculous conversation. I wasn't even hungry anymore, so I didn't bother to touch my food. My day was going so well until he decided to get all jealous. We're not even dating and he's acting like I'm his property.

"You need to eat."

"Yeah well I'm not hungry anymore."

"Eat." The demand in his voice didn't sit well with me and it only served to make me more irritable.

I took a deep breath. "Silas, I don't know what you're used to, but I'm not your child nor am I your pet. You're not going to tell me what to do. So, if I don't want to eat then I'm not going to eat. If I want to wear a crop top then I'm going to wear a crop top. I would appreciate it if you showed me some respect."

I watched as he wiped his hands and stared at me without saying a word. His unbothered features not allowing me to gauge what he was thinking. He sat there for a while just looking before uttering a word.

He finally spoke. "Don't mistake my observations for a lack of respect. I have the utmost respect for you as a woman. Though, I merely observed that you haven't eaten today. I also noticed that your shirt draws attention to your body that I don't like. And in case you haven't realized, I can do what I want. So, if I want to tell you what to do then that's very well what I'm going to do." He elicited his declaration with a finality that dared me to challenge it.

I appreciated his concern for me needing to eat but I needed to set a few things straight between us. Us. There isn't even an us, to begin with, so why are we even having this conversation?

Resting my chin on my clasped hands, I leaned forward peering into those deep brown eyes. "I don't belong to you, Silas Wilson."

He leaned forward until our faces were mere inches apart. Locking his eyes with mine, he glared at me intensely. "Oh, I assure you, Ariah Miller, you were mine the day I laid my eyes on you."

The rush of emotions flooding through me showed no mercy. Goosebumps began to tickle my skin as the familiar tingles set in. He always had a way of evoking this sensation in me; the how remains unanswered. For some reason, I liked the way the word 'mine' flowed out of those plump lips. The assertive nature in which he spoke sent shivers down my spine. It was as if he wasn't just saying the words, it was almost a promise, a vow. I sat before him essentially lost in the intensity of his presence. It was lovely yet uncomfortable. I was drawn to him; however, I knew the intensity of this attraction wasn't good for me. When he was around, everything else turned to dust. I could easily lose myself in him and that's not something I'm willing to do.

We left the fundraiser a little early for obvious reasons. The ride home was painfully silent and the tension in the air wasn't doing us any favors. We arrived just as the sun began to set. Silas walked me up to my apartment and once we got inside, the silence was finally broken.

"I had a really nice time today," I said as I poured a glass of wine.

"You don't need to drink that on an empty stomach." I looked up at him with a tired expression. Even though I knew he was right, my defiant nature still wanted to drink the red liquid. Simply because he didn't want me to. Call it childish, but I've always had a rebellious heart. If everyone else went left, I went right. Despite the battle with myself, I set the glass down and perched up on the counter.

"So, have you always been so controlling?" I questioned as he made his way over to me. Standing between my legs, he wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his face in my hair.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" He mumbled.

The level of intimacy this position held had my heart pounding rapidly. It was too much too fast. I pulled away and slid off the counter. I began pacing around the living room. I had an affinity for him. I've never felt the pull towards another being so strong. The energy was overwhelming. So immaculate and all-consuming. I was afraid of being sucked in.

"Ariah!" The blaring sound of my voice being yelled successfully snapped me out of my turmoil. I turned and came face to face with a fuming Silas.

"Did you not hear me talking to you?!"

I shook my head. "I apologize, what did you say?"

He let out a frustrated sigh and leaned against the counter. "What has your mind so occupied that you can't hear when I'm speaking to you?"

I wasn't ready to have this conversation. "Why can't you ever answer my questions? " I asked instead of providing him with the knowledge he wishes to know.

He studied me for a while before sighing his defeat. "I asked why did you move away?"

"Because the way we were was too intimate for me," I answered honestly. He stood there looking at me but not saying anything. I took it as a silent will for me to continue. "To me, the way you were holding me elicited that you want more than what I'm willing to give. As I've told you before, I'm not looking to be in a relat-"

"Oh, Ariah enough with the "no relationships" bullshit. I heard you the first time and I ignored it for a reason. You can deny it all you want, but you and I both know that there is something more between us than some simple attraction."

I began pacing again. "So what I want is bullshit to you? Oh, do tell what your reasoning behind ignoring my wishes is."

He stalked towards me and slid his arm around my back, tugging me into him. "Because I want you. And I'm in a habit of getting what I want. You belong to me, Ari." He stated flatly.

The rage bubbling inside of me was growing by the minute. I pushed away from him. "Just in case you forgot, you and I are not together Silas and I'm not some fucking property you can stake your claim on." Brushing past him, I went towards the glass I left on the counter. I began sipping the wine.

"Watch your mouth." He started towards me with fury blazing in those eyes, but I held my hand up in protest.

"I have work tomorrow, you should go," I added. I gulped down the first glass and started to pour a second before opting to drink out of the bottle. Ignoring my protest, Silas trudged towards me and took the bottle from my hand pouring the contents out in the sink.

I was undeniably irate. I hated anger. I hated how it made me feel. The pit that settled in your stomach. Growing like a volcano awaiting eruption. Silas Wilson had a way of shaking up my calm, but he also had a way of bringing me excitement. I don't think I would ever truly wrap my head around it. So, we stood there seething at each other. As if there was a mutual understanding of our emotional exhaustion, Silas turned without a word and walked out. He uttered something as he closed the door but I could not make out the words.

After devouring leftovers, I took an extensive shower to calm myself and crawled in the bed. I lay there staring at the ceiling as sleep evaded me. I couldn't make sense of my attraction to Silas. Maybe I wasn't supposed to. I knew he had a point about there being something more there. However, that doesn't change the fact that we need to have a conversation about his controlling behavior.

With a whirlwind of thoughts, I grabbed my phone to check the time. It was nearing midnight. Forcing my mind to be quiet, sleep finally welcomed me with open arms.