Experience Me

Chapter 27

My mind was racing a mile a minute. I wondered what Silas was feeling when I took the pill this morning. Would he have agreed to what his mother said or denied it? The way he looked at me when he said he was ready to settle down... Silas was much older than me. Though it doesn't bother me, it raises questions that I never thought to ask myself. Was he ready for a family? Was I?

Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was nearing three in the morning. Huffing in frustration, I climb out of bed and drag myself to the kitchen. I place a tea kettle filled with water on the stove to heat.

Searching the cabinets, I find the herb I'm looking for and begin crushing it with the mortar and pestle. After placing the St. John's wort in a cup, the kettle began to whistle. Carefully, I turned off the stove and poured the piping liquid into the cup.

The sweet yet bitter smell of the tea filled my nostrils and transported me back to the nights of my childhood.

"Ariah, what are you doing up? I thought I told you to go to bed." My mother's stern voice stopped me in my tracks. I was trying not to be heard as I creeped down the stairs.

"I can't sleep mama." At twelve years old, I stood at the threshold of the kitchen and watched as my mom closed her laptop. She began rustling and bustling around the kitchen. With fascination, I watched as she crushed up the yellow plant and infused it with the bowling water on the stove.

"Drink this."

"What is it?" She flared her nostrils at me and I hurriedly took the cup of hot liquid and began drinking it. The tea had a strong taste as it flowed along my taste buds and went down my throat. Once I finished, I sat the cup in the sink.

"What now?"

"Go back to bed, that's what." I laughed and got up from the table. She shook her head and smiled before hitting me on the butt and sending me to my room.

I lay in the bed staring at the ceiling wondering what the tea was suppose to do. Soon enough, I found out as I started to feel drowsy. My body relaxed all over and I began to fall into a deep slumber. I faintly recall my mother opening the door.

"Goodnight sweetheart."

Placing the cup of tea in the sink, a smile graced my face at the fond memory. Shutting off the lights, I return to my bed and allow the tea to do its job.

Despite my late slumber, I woke feeling rejuvenated and ready to face the day. My phone lit up with a text from Silas.

Good morning beautiful. Have a great day at work. I'll see you for lunch.

I quickly responded and proceeded to get ready.

The smile that resided on my face faded away as I made my way through the building. My hope is that I will not see Mr. Baker today. Wishful thinking I guess. Before I even reach my desk, I am being summoned to his office. Taking a deep breath, I push the door open and waltz in. Baker is sitting at his desk doing what appears to be some paperwork.

"Have a seat Ariah." I do so. For some time, I just sit there while he continues whatever he's doing. My patience began to grow thin. Just as I was about to speak, Baker beat me to it.

"You are quite different than most women I've encountered. It has come to my attention that I am playing a dangerous game by pursuing you when you have relations with such an important asset of my company. However, your beauty is beyond compare."

"I'm sorry sir, but is there a point to this?"

"See!" He stood up swiftly and rounded his desk. "That! Right there. You are the only person who would ever interject me while I'm speaking, deny me something that I want, or speak to me without holding your tongue. You thrill me Ariah Miller. You're the drug I can't have which only makes me fiend for more."

I've never been so disgusted in my life. The look in his eyes was pure lust. Not the kind that you welcome, the kind that mirrors that of a molester. Being in his presence was making my stomach churn. The hairs on the back of my neck and arms were being to rise in response to my need to get away. Why can't he just accept no for an answer? Slowly I stood and skirted around him so that I was standing by the door.

"Mr. Baker," I began.

"Adam."

"Mr. Baker." I insist.  "We can never be more than what we are. Employee and employer. Under different circumstances, I may have appreciated your candor; however, the advances now are quite unwelcome. I don't appreciate your disregard for my relationship or the sexualisation of me."

I pause for a moment to close my eyes and take a deep breath. Do I dare to continue? I've been a faithful employee to this company for years, but do I jeopardize that for my relationship. Though, it is not just about my relationship. It is for me and my dignity as a woman. If I allow this kind of treatment to continue, what does that say about how much I value myself?

"Adam, I quit."

Once the words leave my lips, it was like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. Although it shouldn't have, the look on Adam's face gave me satisfaction. After leaving his office, I packed my desk and bid my goodbyes. Saying goodbye to Johnathan was the hardest. He had been the closest person to me since I began working here. We assured each other that we would keep in touch. Arriving home, I put down my things and took a small nap.

I woke to a loud knock on my door. Drowsily, I walk downstairs and open it. Silas storms in, nearly knocking me back.

"Well hello to you too."

"I went by your job to pick you up for lunch and you weren't there."

Closing the door, I look over to the clock on the stove and note that it is after 3. I didn't realize how tired I was.

"I quit."

"What? Why? I thought you liked your job." Silas began removing his jacket and loosening his tie.

"Aren't you suppose to be at work. It's not 5 yet."

"Left early. Don't change the subject."

Sighing, I plop on the couch and regale him with the events of my morning. At the end of my story, the only thing I hear is silence. Sitting up, I turn to face the kitchen and notice Silas simply standing there with his fists balled on the counter and a deadly glare in his eyes. I make my way over to him and place my hands on his shoulders. Slowly, I begin massaging the tension away.

"It's okay Silas." Shrugging my hands away, he turns around and glares at me.

"It is no where near fucking "okay". Your nonchalant attitude is rather insulting. That arrogant son of a bitch blatantly disrespected me more than once."

Stepping away from him, I work to maintain my temper. I remind myself that I am not the focus of his anger, but simply the only one around. I watch as the heavy breaths flow in and out of him.

I speak calmly. "I see no point is stressing. I'm with you and that's all that should matter. No, the disrespect towards both of us is not okay, but there's not much we can do about it."

He scoffs. "Since when has a man pursuing you been disrespectful?"

"Since I've been with you. And for the record, it isn't just about him pursuing me. If you took a second away from trying to protect your precious pride, you would realize that me being treated like an object isn't something to revel in." I snap back before scoffing my indignation and going upstairs.

I lay in silence for hours before hearing footsteps come up the stairs. Silas appears in the room and climbs into bed with me.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I was too focused on myself and I wasn't thinking about how the situation made you feel. You quit your job out of respect for what we have together and that's something I will always appreciate."

Turning to face him, I could see the sincerity in his eyes. Crashing my lips into his, I express my acceptance of his apology. He wraps me in his arms and pulls me closer to him. As we lay together, I realize that I did the right thing by leaving my job. I had become complacent, not willing to expand my abilities. I could do more, be more. With Silas I know that is possible. Before he came along, I had isolated myself into a bubble. That chapter of my life is over. It is time for a new one.