colour | annyeongz [completed]

•52•

—Wonyoung's

Hindi makapagsalita ang lahat matapos ang nangyari. Kahit ako mismo. Hindi ko inakalang maririnig niya ang lahat ng ito. Hindi nga ako makapaniwala sa nalalaman ko, siya pa kaya hindi ba? 

Yujin just walked away. 

She left while her tears are flowing. 

She left. Crying. 

She left. Hurting. 

And it makes my heart ache as well. 

"Wonyoung—"

"Don't— say a word." I stopped Yeji before she could even finish her sentence. "Hindi niyo ba siya hahabulin!?" Tanong ko sa kanilang lahat. Wala ni isang sumagot. Great! What a family! Bravo!

Utterly disgusting. 

"Maybe we need to give her some time—" Jiyoong reasoned out but just like what I did to Yeji I cut him off. 

"How much time did you waste because of this stupidity? Hindi ba dapat panahon na para matapos ang lahat nang ito?" And then again, walang nagsalita. Ni hindi nga nila ako matignan sa mata. "You're selfish," Dinuro ko si Jiyoong at lumingon rin kay Yeji, "The both of you."  I made sure my words penetrated their hearts, their minds, and their souls. 

"Maybe if you put Yujin first. Siya ang pinakanasasaktan ngayon." At iniwan ko sila roon para sundan ko si Yujin. I ran. I was in a hurry just to catch up with her.

I saw her back so I ran even faster.

When I finally caught up with her, I grabbed her by the arm to stop her.

"Yujin!" Sigaw ko kahit hinihingal. Tinabig niya lang ang kamay ko. 

"I said leave me alone!" I heard her sobbing. "At least let me be. I need to escape from this shithole!" Sabi niya.  

I remembered how many times she left but I didn't even stop her.

Now I won't let her leave. No, not anymore.

I can't bear to lose her again.

Not this time.

Hindi ko namalayan nasa labas na pala kami ng ospital. We no longer cared about those people around us. All I know is that we are both in tears. 

Tinulak niya ako ng malakas. "Maybe this is the last time we'll see each other, yeah? Just— fuck it I wanna run away from everything!"

Bigla nalang akong nakaramdam ng inis. Kasi pagod na rin ako. Lagi nalang bang ganito?

"Yujin, running away from everything is not the only solution!" Sigaw ko sa kaniya. Siniguro kong rinig niya ang bawat salita ko. 

Whether she's Ahn Yujin or Hwang Yujin, she's still the same.

Always leaving everything behind just to escape.

Such a cowardly move.

And if before I just let her, now I won't.

"No. Don't just leave like that! Not anymore! You need to face it, not just leave like a coward you always were!" Magkaharap na kami ngayon.

Magkaparehong umiiyak, magkaparehong pagod, at magkaparehong sawa na sa gulong ito. 

"Now what the fuck should I do then!? I can't even remember shit! I don't even know shit! I am overwhelmed, I can't keep up it's too fucked up!" Streaming tears cleansed her red cheeks. Salty tears mingled with ocean's and the oncoming tempest whipped her hair around. She was scared, devastated and pained.

Hindi ako palamura pero tangina, ramdam ko yung sakit.

"I didn't even know you were a part of my past. I didn't even know that a huge part of me was lost all these years. Fuck I didn't even know Yeji just used me for her own damn selfishness! If only remember everything—" 

"Shhhhh it's okay." I hugged her tightly as if I didn't want to let her go. "It's okay, don't force yourself to remember. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here."

"It sucks cause I feel extremely lost. I just wanna leave. It feels like I'm dying on the inside. And I hate it." She sobbed into my chest unceasingly, hands clutching at my clothes. She held it in silence, rocking me slowly as her tears soaked my chest.

"I just wanted to have a family. I just wanted to be happy. Is it really that fucking hard? Is my wish really heavy that even santa claus or some shitty genies can't even grant my wish? Am I really that bad of a person?" When she finally looked at me, her beautiful pair of eyes were swollen and sore. So I pulled her to my chest and held her even tighter.

"No Yujin no. You don't deserve any of this. You deserve all the best things in the world. Nakita ko kung pano kayo magsama nila Yeji. I know Yeji loves you as a family too. She was just blinded by hatred that's why." I said while rubbing her back. 

"Bullshit." Yujin pulled away from my hug.  She wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"It's true. Because I saw it myself. I felt it myself. And I am telling the truth." I said wholeheartedly, hoping that she felt it. "You've suffered too much. And it breaks my heart to see you like this."

"I wanna remember everything right now—"

"I said don't force yourself to remember. You need to rest. Ayaw kong maging selfish pero I actually wished for you not to remember your painful past. I love how you're smiling, not thinking of anything except for yourself."

"And you said I need to face it." Tinapunan niya ako ng masamang tingin. Natawa naman ako ng bahagya dahil don.

"I know. Not now like right now though." Sabi ko naman. 

"I hate it when you're right. But okay." Lumapit siya sakin at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Humigpit ang kapit niya parang ayaw niya na talaga ako bitawan.

"Shall we go back? You need to talk to them." Bigla nalang siyang humarap sakin. She wiped away my tears using her two thumbs. The she pinched my cheeks.

"Correction, it's we. We. The both of us, Jang Wonyoung. We as in you and I." She corrected. I was relieved to see that she was already smiling. I also smiled at her back. Kahit na parang mukha kaming tanga dito sa labas, wala na kaming pake. 

"No, it's we as in you, me, and the rest of our friends. As in sila Yena—"

"Alright alright. Call them. We need to talk. Everyone of us needs to talk this shit." Sabi niya pero siniko ko muna siya sa tagiliran. "Ouch!" Daing niya. 

"Magpahinga ka muna!" I said with concern. Pero parang hindi kasi siniko ko siya hihi. 

"Oo na oo na magpapahinga na!"  And she dragged me inside. But of course, we held hands. 

I giggled all of a sudden. 

Nagtatakang lumingon si Yujin sa akin. 

"What was that?" She asked.

"Nothing." I answered, still smiling like an idiot. 

I was just happy. To see her grow. 

At least she's brave enough to face her own obstacles. 

And I will be on her side. 

Always. 

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I just wanna say, we don't deserve a Jang Wonyoung huhuhu.