"anyway it doesn't matter, nobody's going to find out" madison tried reassuring me. "my dad might" i stated as i scratched the back of my neck. "who cares, he's in prison he can't hurt you" she stated. "no he's not, not anymore" i informed her. "what do you mean" she asked me "i mean he's out on bail" i felt like i was about to cry, it was all just to overwhelming. "does that mean you're going to live with him" madison asked me, i shook my head. "so what's the big deal" she asked me, as if i was pathetic. "you don't get it do you" i snapped at her. "get what" she asked. "get how terrified i am. terrified that he's going to find me, terrified that he's going to hurt me. terrified that one day i'm not going to be able to do anything when he comes at me. terrified that he's going to kill me" id given up trying not to cry, i was full on crying. "and you just don't get what it's like, you've had your whole life handed to you. the worst thing that's ever happened to you is your parents divorce, and that didn't even happen they just split up" i yelled as i stood up. "no you don't know anything about me" kenzie yelled as she stood up. "yes, i really do. you're house is beautiful, both your parents are lovely and you're a well mannered girl" i told her "but no by all means you go throw yourself a pity party because what you have to live with your dad" i yelled "try feeling like nobody fucking wants you, in fact try having your own father beating you everyday. telling you he wished you were never born, feeling like everything you do will disappoint someone" i screamed at her "harvey i'm so sor..." kenzie started to try apologise. "no just leave me alone" i said to her as i turned around a left.
i couldn't believe what i'd just done. i didn't know where to go but i just wanted a hug, a hug from someone who cared about me. the only problem was i didn't think anyone did care about me. maybe lily but i think it was just an act because she was taking care of me. i decided to go home, take whatever was coming to me for skipping school. i opened the front door and walked in, i saw lily turn to look at me from her office. i gave her a weak smile trying to still hold back tears. she walked over to me "did you skip school today" she asked me. i nodded, making sure to not make eye contact or she'd know i wanted to cry. "i'm very disappointed" she told me, i nodded "i...i'm sorry" my voice croaked. she took my head and made me look up at her, that was my breaking point. i just started crying "i didn't mean to" i cried. she hugged me, i wrapped my arms around her waist and cried into the crook of her neck. i just cried and cried. i felt like i couldn't stop.
once i'd finally stopped crying i explained to lily that i just wanted to be left alone. she agreed to leave me alone and let me just chill in her office. she just pretended that i was doing homework. lily told me that if i ever wanted to talk she'd be there which made me really happy and kind of made me realise that somebody does care. lily cares. which was amazing because i don't think anyone's ever cared about me before.
