Antara Darah dan Hati: Dream Reality English Translation

Chapter 9 Part 1 "The Party Superiors's Order"

POV Ludwig

I woke up from my sleep suddenly when the dawn had not came. The first thing I did was just like any other modern humans in the era of 2010 and above in general, checking messages that went into my social media applications that i have and being contained in my smartphone.

I got a message from my superriors from the party. When I read it for the first time I felt doubts about my hatred towards Lodewijk. My hands trembled when I finished reading the message. Though at last noon I dared to threaten him but when the time to do that came, my guts and bravery became shrunken.

Come on, Ludwig, really?! Why are you hesitating?! Don't you hate that scallywag silvertongue?! What's so hard about it? You just have to follow their orders to show your loyalty to the party and the race of your nation, right?! Lodewijk is no longer your family he is your enemy, don't you see he has joined those sand niggers?! You don't have to feel sorry for a traitor! He has chosen his path now follow the path that you chose!

Yes, I know that but somehow despite our different paths sometimes I wonder why I can always meet him? Is this really the fate of twins? No matter how much I try to stay away from him and he tries to stay away from me why doesn't destiny separate us? Even when I see my reflection in the mirror with my hair disheveled, I see him in me.

If I'm fed up with him, doesn't following my superiors's orders can make me happy because I can finally get rid of him forever? But why do these doubts exist?

Vater (father), he always taught me to hold on to my principles and outlook at life tightly so that I would not be lethargic and fickle like Lodewijk. That's what makes me able to determine the purpose and choice of my life without any regrets. So why for the first time am I hesitant to do this when in the past times I was able to throw innocent people behind bars? Verdamnt, verdamnt, verdamnt, verdamnt! (Damn, damn, damn, damn!).

"Why do you care about me who will suffer even more? Unless you actually love me, aren't you broeder?"

The sentence that he said to me from yesterday's noon rang in my head. This isn't right, I should hate him but why is this phrase kept ringing in my head? I shouldn't have loved him who is a sand nigger but why when the order to end him came I was doubtful like this whereas before I did not hesitate to treat him like my mortal enemy?

Lodewijk, what will he do if he is in my position? Will he felt doubt too? Will he dare to raise his weapon against me?

Technically, I, who in his holy book is called an infidel could of course be killed, but would he dare to do what his holy book has commanded in order to kill me to get the paradise that is promised by his God? Ah, there is no time for supposition. Sooner or later he will surely kill me to follow the orders of his holy book, so it seems there really is no other choice. I have to do my superiors's orders. Lodewijk, es tut mir leid bruder (i'm sorry brother). I have to end you before you end me. You never wanted to break your ties with me so I will break it.