You can stay if you want

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(edited)

(Louis's pov)

I think he was blushing... Cute. I walk over to the bed and sit down. "What movie are we watching?" I ask Harry. "Idk you chose." "Ok" i say. I choose The nun. We get in the bed and I hold my arm out so we can cuddle. He comes up to me and get really close to me in my arms. We start watching the movie. About 30 minutes into the movie Harry got scared and cuddled into me really close. He put his head into the crook of my neck and his legs around my waist. He looked cute. Harry what are you doing to me. He snuggled into my neck. I think he's sleep. 

I kiss his head and say "don't worry Haz I won't let anyone hurt you. Ever." "I love you" Harry replied. "What?" I said shocked and confused. He's sleepy he doesn't mean it. I mean he probaly wasn't even talking to you. Don't go assuming. "I said i love you Lou." Haary looked up at me. He was talking to you. Omg!!! I look down at Harry. "You mean it haz?" I asked "Yes. I do. " Harry replied. "I love you too hazza." I lean in and kiss his lips. Why did i do that? Omg he probaly hates me. Sigh. My thoughts get interrupted by Harry kissing me. I kiss back. Then he pulls away. "Damn Lou. If i didn't know you were straight id think you ACTUALLY like me." He said that last part while looking down. Why?!?!  "You're such a good actor. You're a good kisser too." Harry said. He didn't realize he said it at first then he realized. He covered his mouth and looked down at the floor. If i didn't know any better I'd think he was blushing. 

I walk over to him. "Haz look at me." He doesn't look at me. "Harry look at me." He doesn't look at me. I grab his face and force him to look at me. He's blushing... Aww. "aww Haz you think i'm a good kisser huh?" He doesn't say anything, just blushes harder. "I think you're an amazing kisser." He looks me in my eye. His eyes are wide. "Yeah. I said it." I feel my cheeks burning... Fuck then i said "Harry. Lets continue watching the movie." I said "Yeah okay lets go." He replied. We climb back in the bed and continue watching the nun. 10 more minutes into the movie a jumpscare pops up on the screen and Harry jumps into my lap. "Its fine. You can stay if you want." "Ok." He doesn't leave my lap. We continue watching the movie. Harry kept moving around in my lap and I realized that i had started to get hard. Fast. I had to make an excuse and fast before Harry noticed. "Hey Haz im gonna go get some water I'll be back in a minute."

I quickly exit the room and i run to me and Zayn's room. I hope that it was empty. I was wrong. Liam and Zayn were in there watching a movie. "Hey bro- woah what do we have here?" "I uh got hard" "Who got you hard???" "Harry." I look down. Zayn and Liam looked shocked. "Omg..... You like Harry." "No i don't." "You don't?" They both ask. "No. He just kept-  We were watching a movie and he got scared and jumped onto my lap. Then he kept moving around on my lap and then it happpened." "Oh yeah that happens all the time. Doesn't matter if you're attracted to them or not. If someone is rubbing on you a certain way you'll get hard." Liam explained. So it means you don't like Harry. The fact that you had to have someone else tell you if you like Harry or not already tells you that you like him. Stfu i don't.  "See i knew it had to be a logical explanation... There's no way that I'd actually like Harry. I mean for godsake he's HARRY. He's my bestfriend. Do you know how bad that would be?" Honestly..... How bad can it be???

(Harry's pov)

I was on Louis's lap because i got scared. Pussy. That shit was scary stfu. And i kept moving around because i was uncomfortable. I felt Louis get hard. Suddenly he tossed me off his lap and said he was going to get some water. I quietly followed behind him. He explained that he was hard. They asked him if he likes me. He said no. That kinda hurted me tho ngl... Ik bc you like him... No i don't. Then he explained what happened. They told him it was normal and that it was no biggie. Then he said "See i knew it had to be a logical explanation... There's no way that I'd actually like Harry. I mean for godsake he's HARRY". I walked away after that. What did he mean by that. "He's HARRY" does he think that no one would actually like me. That hurt me on a different level. 

I felt tears starting to form in my eye. I quickly blinked them away when I heard Lou coming back. "Hey hazza. I'm back" "hey Lou. I'm kinda tired can you leave. I'm about to take a shower and go to sleep." "Uh sure" Louis replied. "Hey haz. Are you okay. You look a little upset." Louis asked. "Im fine" I replied lying...  "Im just tired ya know."  " Yeah ok i guess. Bye" Louis said leaving. "Bye" i get up and grab my shower stuff and lock the door. I put on wishing well by juice wrld (rip) and i get in the shower and i sit down and cry. No one likes me at all. No one loves me. I cry harder. I think. I think that i might actually like Louis, but he clearly doesn't feel the same. He thinks no one would ever like me. Yeah because you're ugly and skinny and annoying and unbearable and unlovable and no one even likes you or loves you. You're a worthless waste of space. You should kill yourself. No. You should. No. You should slit your wrists. Yeah i should. I get up and i look for my razors, but then i remember i threw them away a long time ago. I get back in the shower and i slide my back down the wall and cry. What's wrong with me. Why am i never good enough. I get out the shower. I write in my diary on my phone.

Louis

I realized i have feelings for Louis, but he doesn't like me. He doesn't think anyone could like me. So I'll just hide my feelings because if i tell Anyone I'll just end up getting hurt Because he likes Eleanor. When juice said this is the part where i tell you i'm fine, but i'm lying i just don't want you to worry. This is the part where i take all my feelings and hide them cuz i don't want nobody to hurt me. I felt that. (With a crying face). I laid down and went to sleep.

^^ his diary entry

(Louis's pov)

I walk back to Harry's room and he looks sad now. What happened.
"Hey Hazza. I'm back" i say. "hey Lou. I'm kinda tired can you leave. I'm about to take a shower and go to sleep." "Uh sure" I replied confused. "Hey Haz. Are you okay. You look a little upset." I ask. "I'm fine" Harry replied. "I'm just tired ya know." " Yeah ok i guess. Bye" i said leaving. "Bye" Harry said back. I go downstairs to get some food then i realize that i left my phone in Harry's room. I head back upstairs and i go in. I hear him in the shower. The song he's playing... This is the part where i tell you i'm fine, but i'm lying i just don't want you to worry. Wait. Didn't he tell me he's fine awhile ago. I need to figure out what's wrong with Harry. I'll cheer him up, no matter what. Idc what i have to do. I love him. Then i hear this is the part where I take all my feelings and hide them cuz i don't want nobody to hurt me. What do you mean. Do you like someone. He does and its not you. Ha. Ok but why is he hiding his feels from his bestfriend. Idk. We'll see. 

I lean my head up against the door and i hear Harry crying... He said no one likes him and that no one loves him. Wdym. I love you. Such a idiot. I love this idiot. He's MY idiot. I leave back out of the room. I run to the guest room and i start planning. I plan out the perfect date/ not really a date, To make Harry feel better. He'll love it. Can't wait. I look up at the ceiling thinking about how i liked nick, but had to convince everyone that i like Eleanor. Tough times. I fall asleep.

Actually... I had got my phone took for cussing out my dad and his gf bc they were wrong, but im back

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