It just happened l.s

Did i make a mistake?

(Harry's pov)
Its been 2 weeks since me and Louis stopped fake dating. We don't hang out anymore. I mostly just cry, write songs, sleep, go for drives, and eat a little bit. Him and Addison started dating again. Ever since that night i SWORE to myself that I would never fall in love again. On the plus side I started playing the guitars. I'm getting good at it. I miss Louis. Like i need him. I'm HONESTLY trying to move on and forget my feelings for him, but i can't. Something is holding me back and idk what it is. the fact that YOU haven't told Louis is what's holding you back. We're not even friends anymore. We don't hang out anymore so wtf am i supposed to do. Send him a text.... I pull out my phone. No i can't send this type of shit through text. I'll write a letter, yeah and leave it in his room. I sit down and start writing the note said this

Dear Louis,

I'm still missing you and I can't see the end of this just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time Is passing by, but I still can't seem to tell you why it hurts me every time I see you i realize how much I need you. I hate that I love you don't want to, but I can't put nobody else above you. I hate that I want you, you want her, you need her, and I'll never be her. I miss you when I can't sleep or right after coffee or right when I can't eat. I miss you in my front seat....  Still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don't remember. Do you miss me like I miss you? I fucked around and got attached to you. Friends can break your heart too. I'm always tired but never of you. If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit. I put this real out, but you wouldn't bite that shit. I type you a text, but then I never mind that shit. I got these feelings, but you never mind that shit. You keep it on the low. You're still in love with me but your friends don't know, but If u wanted me you would just say so, and if I were you I would never let me go. I don't mean no harm. I just miss you in my arms. Got caution tape around my heart. You ever wonder what we could have been? You said you wouldn't and you fucking did lie to me, lie with me, until you're fucking fixed. Now my head and all my feelings are all fucking mixed. Im always missing people that I shouldn't be missing, sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance. I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing, but I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings. When love and trust are gone, I guess this is moving on. Everyone I do right does me wrong, So every lonely night, I cry to a song. Im all alone and I watch you watch her, like she's the only girl you've ever seen, you don't care you never did. You don't give a damn about me. She's the only thing you ever see, but how  is it you never notice.... That you are slowly killing me. I like you. Like LIKE you. I get that you don't like me, but after spending all around you. After all the kissing, the cuddling,  the ship videos, the dates, and the incidents we had. I fell in love with you. Which was stupid cuz the whole plan was to make someone else fall back in love with you. Do i regret it? Not at all, I do regret not guarding my heart in the process, because honestly that's the thing that breaking now, but If i had the option to go back and say no when you asked me to fake date I'd still say yes because when were together everything made sense. I felt the happiest I've ever felt in a long time. I felt like when you came around all the pain and all the suffering didn't exist to me anymore, when we kissed it was just like everything stopped, and when we just stare at each other it feels as if the world slows down. You wanna what's crazy? I told you how everyone I love leaves me. You looked me dead in my eyes and said you wouldn't leave, but you left like I expected. I opened up to you, and I regret it. No one loves me enough to stay. ugh writing this is pointless, i'm not gonna give it to you.

I fold the note in half and sat it on my table. I grab my shorts and change into them. Im gonna go get in the pool for a bit. Clear my head a little. I change. Lock my door and head out into the pool. No one is there so that's good. No one to ask a bunch of questions abt my health and stuff. Im just swimming around when I saw Louis come outside and get in the pool. I kept swimming around like I didn't see him. He comes up to me and puts his hands around my waist and pulls me close to his face. We're just staring in each other's eyes Kiss him. I know you want to. I feel face heat up. I get out of his hold. I get out of the pool and dry off. Instead of locking myself in my room I decided to go get dunkin for everyone. I get in the car and head over to dunkin. The line is long.