𝐥'𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐫? || 𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲

𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒖𝒔𝒕

L'amour seems to be blowing up lately woot woot!

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       From there August became on constant suicide watch. Though I predicted things to change with August they didn't seem to change as dramatically as I assumed. Infact what was odd about it all August still smiled from day to day as if nothing happened. Though that's just how August was, he smiled and pretended but at night he would lash out and loose a grip on reality. He destroyed things in anger and cried like a child, it was sometimes very traumatic.

August was like this because of his father. The lack of attention clearly got to his head, he began to desperately cling to my sides at time or impress his brother with his grades. But the tragic truth was he wasn't impressing anyone, infact when he acted as such all we saw was his pain. That's why he got angry and hurt people, it was because he was lonely in a sense.

August Bisset was a lonely, sad and pitiful soul.

It was early morning when beau greeted me with a small smile, it became a routine. We woke up early morning and took turns getting things ready for August's day. We got him clothes to shower in and I prepared him breakfast alongside my mother who prepared his father breakfast. I cut the apples quietly and looked down at my work. Beau hummed filling the emptiness of the kitchen. I began to sniffle slightly as I cut the apples and before I knew it the apples were getting wet with my salty tears. "Don't cry, he's still alive." Beau spoke up putting his hand on my shoulder as he prepared the other fruits. "H-he never said he wanted to die. I j-just thought he was upset for now." I stuttered as my shoulders shook along with my body as I cried silently. "Why dont you try speaking to him about it today? It's been a month I think it's alright." Beau said setting down his knife and taking mine away. He began to cut the apples for me and he looked down at them. "August loves you zach, you're the only one he will tell."

my eyes widened as I looked up at beau realizing that I was his boyfriend. August always told me everything and if anyone was going to get answers it had to be me first. "I'll do it." I nodded promptly and beau turned hugging me tightly. When he let go he handed me the plate of fruit before he kissed both my cheeks. "Merci, I can always count on you." Beau said leaving.

I walked into August's room with a smile holding up my plate of fruit. It was the middle of the day and August had music playing in this room for once. He was dressed in his favorite blue shorts that showcased his thoughts and no shirt today. He looked bare without the silver chain he used to wear but every time I offered it back he declined. He was writing today and turned back to look at me for a moment before looking back to his paper. I pulled up a chair to his desk and sat beside him and set down our plate. "What are your writing today auggy?" I questioned. He looked at me before leaning foward and planting a quick kiss to my lips, I never failed to be completely flustered from his kisses. "Our bucket list." He chuckled looking back at the very nice piece of paper. There was only one word under the list. 'America'.

"Don't you have places you want to visit in America?" I asked grabbing the list, he nodded. I wrote down the three places he loved the most on the paper California, New York and Washington DC. I didn't know what I wanted to do before I died I just knew one thing. I scribbled down what I wanted and handed it back to him swiftly. "Be with August forever? Well I want the same thing." He smiled as he wrote a few words. 'End it all with Zach.'

My eyebrows furrowed and I looked at him oddly. I took a deep breath and prepared to have a serious conversation. "Do you still...want to die? I thought America was going to fix all that." I said quietly as August set down his pencil. "I want to die young, I told you this." He sighed resting his head on the palm of his hand. LI want to go to America but I want it to end there too. I want my perfect ending."