A new life in hell (reader x attack on titan)

Chapter XX: After effect

(Y/N's POV)

I got into my black PJs and boy did it feel good to get out of those shoes. I looked at my feet to see my regeneration working it's magic on my blisters. I dropped backwards on the double bed and stared at the ceiling. It was just plain white but for some reason it was entrancing.

I really am losing my mind...

Once I could feel my feet again, I got of my tired ass and went to the desk. There was a package I saw when I came in and I was curious about it. I sat in the comfy chair and picked it up. It was from Armin.

Thought you might like this. -Armin

I chuckled and put the note aside and tore off the wrapping paper, revealing a book. It had a dark blue cover and it didn't seem particular old or new.

The darkest part of your mind... I read the title.

It seemed interesting enough, so I opened the book and started to read in the lamp light. It was a 300 page fictional experimental log of a made up Dr Hort Ghistal who specialised in human behaviour, but he was also a bit of a sociopath. It was all his hypotheses and observations that he ran on live or dead human lab tests. And it somehow reminded me of my past life, I was sort of a lab rat too, it was kind of nostalgic. In the end, the doctor finds the cause of human reaction, he says that no matter what we tell ourselves, we are controlled by our emotions or feelings. The main one varies for each person, but there is no escaping it. Ghistal ends up accepting this and that's when his journal finishes.

I turned the last page and saw another handwritten note, also from the blond coconut.
Mine's my hopefulness, what's yours?

I smirked and closed the book then I leaned back on the armchair. I crossed my hands behind my head and stared and the ceiling again.

I don't know... I honestly don't...maybe someday I will.

I checked the time, it was 3am and I was hungry. I never got the chance to eat anything at that party and it was taking it's toll on me. I got to my feet and snuck silently out the door, crept through the hall, making sure I didn't wake anybody up. I went down the four flights of stairs until I made it to the kitchen doors. It was a huge room, with a dozen counters and appliances. I went to the cupboard and found several jars of cookies so I grabbed a jar and faced the counters, looking for somewhere to sit.

That's when I saw Hange in a set of white pajamas, asleep on her arms that were crossed on the very last counter, her head next to an empty cup. I took my cookies and sat down next to her and poked her shoulder.

"Hange? You okay?"

She groaned, then sat up straight and looked at me with sleepy eyes.

"Oh it's you (Y/N). Yeah I'm fine. I just got a pretty bad headache so I came down for water and I must have fallen asleep." she explained. "Can I have one?"

I pushed the jar towards and she grabbed a cookie and started to munched on it, and so did I.

"So why are you here?"

"I was reading a book Armin recommended and when I finished it I realised that I never ate anything since lunch yesterday." I answered grabbing the next cookie.

"Oh right. You had all those dance proposals. You know, now that I remember, I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"Do you understand what happened? Levi danced with you." she said her eyes shining.

"So. Why is that so surprising?" I asked curious.