Jade Thirlwall One Shots

Amen

i've kinda run out of one shot ideas so some of my next ones are going to be based on songs. if you have any ideas/songs please comment them or message me. keep in mind i try to keep them realistic so i don't write a lot of au's or ships.

________________________________________________________________________________

T/W: mentions of cutting

*i recommend listening to the song before reading. it will make a lot more sense and really get you in your feels

{skip to 1:45 if you don't want to listen to the whole thing}

Jade sat on the end of her bed. She was shocked, stunned to say the least.

And are those real angels in the magazines?

Her phone was still in her hand. Her recent calls still open on the screen.

Oh, is there a Heaven? You'd know now, you've been

She was staring at her bedroom wall. She had been for the last five minutes.

Are those real stars that hang in the sky?

"He's gone."

She refused to believe it. Everything felt so surreal and animated, but deep down, she knew it was reality.

Or are they manmade? A trick of the light?

Everything seemed to drown out around her. Her hearing was lowered, her sight was slipping. The only thing that felt real were the thoughts moving around inside her head at the speed of light.

Amen

Amen

Amen

Multiple calls and messages had come across her phone, however she ignored them. She wasn't ready to face reality.

And is there a God up there? So where does He hide?

She was alone. Holly was across the country, her mam was in a different town, and she didn't want to face the girls she calls sisters because that's what would make it feel real.

'Cause the Devil is raging inside my mind

A loud thud caused her to come out of her trance. She looked down on her bedroom floor, her phone had slipped from her hand.

And is there a moment where it all makes sense?

She sighed and bent down to retrieve the object. She swiped off of the app and opened up her photos. She opened the album with all of their recent holiday pictures. Hot tears formed in her eyes as she swiped through each one, taking in the happy expressions they both shared.

When saying goodbye doesn't feel like the end?

The tears that were forming had spilled onto her cheeks. Her sniffling became heavier as her soft cries turned into sobs. It was the first emotion she felt since she received the message that broke her.

Amen

Amen

Amen

Her phone began ringing. She sighed heavily as she looked down on the screen to see who was calling. Her heart beat faster when she saw Jesy's contact picture on her lockscreen.

Sometimes I can't help blaming you

Her hand hovered back and forth over the answer and decline buttons. She eventually tapped on the green button, regretting it moments later.

For leaving me here, what am I supposed to do?

"H-Hello?"

"Jade, I just heard. Are you alright? I know that's a stupid question but I honestly don't know what to say."

"Uh, yeah. I-I'm okay."

"What happened?"

"He was visiting his mam in Barcelona and the train crashed."

That last sentence is what made the brunette break down all over again.

"Shh, I know there's nothing for me to say that's going to make you feel better but the girls and I are going to come over."

"Mhm," was all Jade could manage.

There's plenty of women, there's drink and there's drugs

Jade hung up the phone and shuffled into her bathroom. She looked into the mirror and shuddered. Her tear-stained face and red brimmed eyes caught her off-guard.

But we both know that won't be enough

Jade slowly opened her medicine cabinet. She reached her hand hesitantly towards the spare razor that sat untouched.

'Cause I see you in the daytime and I hear you at night

She picked it up and let it roll around in her hand. She rolled up her sleeve gently and just stared at it for a moment.

There's a pale imitation burnt in my eyes

She held the razor up over her arm. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath.

I don't wanna be here, I don't know what to do

She allowed the razor to touch her skin and let it run over a small part of her arm, wincing as the wound began to sting.

Sometimes I'd rather be dead, at least then I'm with you

She looked into the mirror. The past seven years ran through her mind. The love of her life was gone, and now she felt she was too.