Jade Thirlwall One Shots

You Don't Know

*i recommend listening to the song before reading. it will make a lot more sense and really get you in your feels

(in this story jesy didn't have depression in the past and perrie never suffered with anxiety)

Jade allowed her thoughts to consume her. They bounced around her head, making it impossible for her to sleep.

I know you've got the best intentions

She stirred, rolling to face the other side of her room. Still, there was no luck falling asleep.

Just trying to find the right words to say

So many thoughts filled her head. She thought about how much she hated herself. Her personality, appearance, everything.

I promise I already learned my lesson

She wasn't sure when it started. She's always had body image problems since the age of 13, but she got better, didn't she?

But right now, I want to be not okay

She thinks it started about two months ago. The group of singers were going through a rough patch. Their album wasn't going how they wanted and they had lost inspiration for songs. Eventually, the other three got back into the swing of things, but Jade was still off.

I'm so tired, sitting here waiting

She slowly started ripping herself apart in front of the mirror. It started off with being unhappy about her hair. She had dyed it, hoping to get her confidence back, but it didn't happen.

If I here one more just be patient

She slowly started noticing other things that she didn't like. Next was her weight, then her height. The voice in the back of her head started picking out her personality. Her sense of humor,  her interests, even her ambition disgusted her.

It's always gonna stay the same

She wanted to be herself again so naturally she decided to "glow up." She made a strict schedule of working out, planned out a healthy diet, and did some online shopping hoping to make a new wardrobe.

So let me just give up

Unfortunately, she wasn't getting the results she wanted. She began cutting out foods, skipping meals, and working out more. She avoided going out in public so she didn't have to face other peoples' judgement. The brunette spent her days in her bed, trying to fight off the voice in her head.

So let me just let go

People slowly started catching on that she was acting different. Her mam was the first to catch on after Jade didn't call her during their weekly check-ins.

If this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know

Next was her best friend Holly. She lived with the girl so she obviously knew something was up with the brunette. Holly had to go back home and asked Jade to come with her, hoping that South Shields would cheer her up but she denied, claiming that she couldn't miss work. That meant Jade was now alone in her apartment for the next few weeks.

Let me just stop trying

Then there were the girls. The group immediately noticed that Jade was quickly losing weight right away. Each time they invited her on a night out, she always had an excuse. They also took in the permanent sad look that stayed on the brunette's face.

Let me just stop fighting

They wanted to help but didn't know how to. Jade was stubborn and incredibly secretive. She wasn't going to let them in unless she wanted to.