Jack Dylan Grazer and character imagines *UNDER CONSTRUCTION*

⛈ Gone, Eddie

AGED UP TO 18+

SUMMARY: The losers club were dealing with the aftermath of Pennywise differently, but one of them dealed with it in a way nobody was expecting

WARNINGS: Suicide, self harm, angst please don't read this if you are sensitive to a dark subject like this. If you are struggling with depression please call your countries suicide helpline. My inbox is always open to talk.

You knew you shouldn't be doing this. But the feeling of the blade against your wrist gave you some sort of freedom you'd been digging for.

The more slices you placed against your skin, the more aggressive you became. The tears rolled down as you dug the blade deeper into your skin and slid down the door of your bedroom, placing your head against the piece of wood and clutching onto your bleeding arm.

It was apparent you weren't doing well.

Nobody was.

Beverly had started chain smoking.

Bill had started becoming violent, lashing out at his parents more often.

Richie was still the same, but he didn't have that sparkle in his eye, his jokes were less sexual and more about death.

Ben was still Ben, but he wasn't as innocent anymore, he often wrote depressing poems.

Mike was like a robot, so monotone when the group would decide to hang out.

Stanley often had nightmares, he was the one you could relate to the most and you often sought out each others comfort.

You hadn't seen your boyfriend Eddie in a while, ever since his mother suffered a heart attack, he was now living on his own. He could see things, he witnessed everyone die only to find it was just his imagination.

You often found yourself walking the empty streets of Derry late at night, walking all the way to the lake and just sitting there. Thinking.

You were more affected by the death of Pennywise.

He often disguised himself as this charming young man named Robert, who you thought helped you.

Though now that you thought about it, he was probably just finding your weak spot, drooling over the thought of feasting into your mangled corpse.

But tonight was different.

Earlier that day you managed to sneak into the Bowers former home and take the gun of Oscar Bowers.

Cops were very messy when it came to crime scenes. Often leaving things behind.

The gun shone in the moonlight and you sighed in bliss as the wind blew against your hair, strands flying in your face.

The light cast somewhat of a halo around you.

"Y/n wait!" you whipped your hair around to see the rest of the losers jumping off their bikes and moving toward you

"Stop don't come any closer!" You exclaim, turning and standing up

"Y/n don't do this" Beverly begged

"Come back to us Y/n" Bill tried to reason with you

"No! Don't you see?" You cried out, tears welling up in your eyes and blurring your vision "IT will always come back"

"But we killed IT" Ben said

"No we didn't, we didn't see it die, it's not gone! IT will be back, one way or another." Your hands shook as you clutched the gun tightly in your grasp "And I can't live, knowing I'm going to have to forever be looking behind my back to make sure IT isn't following me"

Everyone was silent.

You had a point.

You sighed "And I refuse to live my life in constant fear" You raised the hand that was holding the gun to your temple

"Y/n" Eddie finally broke "Please don't do this"

You turned to face him, giving him a weak smile 

"I'm sorry" You calmly said

You pulled the trigger and just like that...

You were gone....