Insanity

Chapter 28: Hearing Damage

Hey guys, heads up that the next update could take awhile what with me headed to spend time with family tomorrow because of a funeral (a little ironic considering what's in this chapter) and because the next one has a LOT of stuff in it.

Also, I apologize (don't say anything Cassandra) but there's a lot of rambling in this chapter, it matches the mood better with the desperation and such. Also, the song to the side seems to match Ryder, it's also a very good song.

 As always, enjoy, vote and tell me what you think! (I think you'll find something :P)

Chapter 28: Hearing Damage

  I woke up on a river bank; I was on my back and looking at the stars. I quickly rolled over and coughed up mouthfuls of water. I didn’t know how I got here, and I didn’t know why I was still alive. I was still alive; otherwise I wouldn’t have felt like I had just been run over by a truck in the rain.

  I slowly sat up, cuts and bruises screaming as I looked at the haunting water. It seemed to be laughing at me. I was soaking wet, and I had no idea how I got over here. One minute I was in the water, next I’m on the river bank where I was before I jumped in. I rubbed my hand down my face, what had happened?

  Then I noticed someone quietly sitting next to me. I looked over to see Roman sitting there watching me, he was soaking wet too.

  “Did you just drag me out of the water?” I asked.

  “You stupid son-of-a-bitch,” He replied, not in the least about to answer my question. “What the Hell were you even thinking!?” His outburst surprised me; I had never heard him so angry. “Well!?”

  I swallowed a great lump of shame before I answered. “I didn’t want to feel the guilt or pain anymore. I’ve seen so much pain, been in as much myself, and I’ve caused it on others, I thought you’d all be better off without me.” I stared at the water; I refused to look at Roman. I knew he would be angry at me, but I didn’t want to be here right now.

  “And why would you think that?” He asked.

  I didn’t reply, he didn’t need to know.

  “Oh for fuck’s sake! I just saved your god-damned ass, the least you could tell me is why!” He yelled, clearly outraged.

  “Fine!” I yelled back, turning to look at all of the anger on his face. “I killed my best friend! And you wanna know the stupid thing!? I can’t even remember his name!” I breathed heavily in anger as I watched his face soften.

  “Wanna tell me everything? Because I know that’s not the only thing on your mind,” He spoke softly, the breathy tone I remember it being.

  I sighed. “Mark thinks that I don’t remember his name because I feel guilty of his death, and I do, because it was my fault,” I threw a rock into the river on the last word, I heard it hit the water with a splash. “I gave him the drugs, I convinced him to take them, and if I hadn’t of done that, he would still be alive today. Now he’s gone.

  “I also killed a girl at a club during my time at rehab. Well, not entirely, but I seduced her over so Jimmy could give her some drugs. Next thing I knew, she had overdosed and was lying on the ground dead, her lifeless eyes watching me. I had killed her. And if I hadn’t of done that, she would still be alive and so would Joshua.

  "He killed himself after we killed that girl, and if I hadn’t of seduced her, he wouldn’t of blamed himself, and he wouldn’t be dead.

  "And now Chris is dead, he died just yesterday. He committed suicide too, hating his life without his brother, Joshua. And if I hadn’t of done what I did in the first place, he would still be alive today too.