The Red Lounge ~Spencer Reid x Reader ~

Hold Me While You Wait

Actions have Consequences.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ5GzGYgWJw

Spencer saw her face fall, and her skin go pale before her face set in an angry line and she stood, pushing past Kristen and storming down the middle isle of the courtroom, all eyes turning to her and then when they couldn't see her, back to him, like a wave of concern and accusations. He gave a desperate look to the judge, who only nodded, dismissing him from the stand and he all but vaulted over the witness stand to follow her, his hand crashing into the doors as they swung back in his face. She was halfway out of the building by the time he caught up to her, his hand landing on her shoulder only for her to violently turn away from him, her eyes, red with tears and betrayal glaring him down in a look that he had seen in his nightmares, and prayed that he never saw in person.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" She screamed, not a care in the world for who heard her. At his shocked expression, she closed her eyes for a moment, took a few steadying breaths, and then her face was in that horrible stoic expression that she used only when dealing with those who truly hurt her. She showed no emotion, all her anger shoved deep inside her where she would ignore it until it was safe to feel it. Which she would never do, and it would fester. He knew her so well, and it hurt him to know that he had inflicted on her the pain that she fought so hard to avoid.

"(Y/n), please." He said quietly, extending his hand to her. "You need to understand that I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how. I know how you feel about law enforcement, and I was trying to find the right way to tell you. Keeping it from you when I knew your feelings was wrong. And I know that, you are absolutely valid in your feelings right now." He started, but she just crossed her arms and glared at the floor.

"So why did you keep it from me? Why didn't you tell me, personally, instead of let me hear it in front of the entire town? Why didn't you just tell me?" He sighed and she glared up at him, that cool indifferent look on her face terrifying him.

"Because I'm a coward." He admitted. "I always have been, and always will be. I was selfish, and I didn't want to lose you so I hid it from you to keep you longer." Her eyes went wide, the first evidence that she was feeling something. The look shifted instantly to one of distressed hurt and she turned from him, taking a few deep, shaking breaths. From inside the courtroom,he heard cheering and whooping and her eyes instantly locked on the doors. His heart stopped. He had done it. Jamie was free. "(Y/n), baby, please... look at me." He begged, his heart hurting and terrified that he was about to lose her.

"Thank you. For what you did for Jamie." She said finally, coming to the same conclusion that he did as to what that cheering meant. She turned, her face once again stoic, silent tears coming down her face. " I am so, unbelievably angry, and hurt." She said, her voice breaking yet coming in heavy confidence. "And I don't know how I can forgive you for this." She took a few moments, clearing her throat to make her words more steady. "So, go home. I want you to pack your things. And leave."

His heart was on the floor but he nodded in understanding. That was a valid request, and honestly, he deserved it, if not more. In fact, really, he deserved her laying into him. He wanted her to scream at him, to make this easier, so he could logic with himself that he was in the right and she was just vindictive. But she didn't. She was calm, hurt, and betrayed, but calm, and when she turned from him, her head was held up high and she reentered the courtroom as if nothing happened, and left him standing in the lobby as people began to file out, losing her in the crowd.

*~*~*
When I reentered the courtroom, I tried so hard to keep my head up, even trying to smile at those who patted my shoulder and congratulated me, but I didn't hear anything beyond the pounding in my ears as I tried so hard not to break. Jamie, still in the prison orange, was holding Kristen tightly, Ms. Smith watching from a few paces away. When she spotted me, her face fell and she rushed over, guiding me to a bench just as my legs gave out and I collapsed into a fit of angry tears. "(Y/n)," She said, rubbing my back comfortingly. "(Y/n), I know you're hurt right now, please listen." I tried to quiet my sobs but they were persistent. "Spencer did what he thought was best for you, and he made a mistake. He is a good man, who cares about you more than anything in the world. Please, please don't let him go."