She Didn't Break ✔️

Page 65 - Just Let Me Love You

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Page 65 - "Just Let Me Love You"

"Then you shouldn't have told me any...any of these." sagot ko sa kaniya. Nakatingin na lang ako sa semento.

I couldn't even look at his face anymore. This is too much. Masyadong emotion and information overload idagdag mo pa sa ibang problema pakiramdam ko mababaliw na ako.

"Please look at me. Please."

Nang hindi ako tumingin sa kaniya at nagdaan ang ilang minuto na wala pa rin akong imik, De Silva knelt on the floor just in front of me, his face tilted upward so he could stare directly on my eyes.

"De Silva-"

"Please call me, Knidn. My name is Prince Knidn De Silva. You're the only person in this world alive who can call me using my second name."

"Knidn.." I tested the syllables on my lips, nee-deen.

"Yes, Zony?" tanong niya habang nakangiti na para bang pumayag na akong magpakasal. Ganoon katindi ang tuwa na bakas sa mukha niya. I just called him by his name. Why is he so happy?

"This is too much." sinabi ko kung anong unang pumasok sa isipan ko.

"I know, Zony. I know," saad niya, "I don't want any secrets between us, I promised that the first day I saw you. I promise I will never lie to you."

They lied to me.

"I promise I will never betray you. You and your trust."

They betrayed me.

"Zony, I promise you're the only woman I love," that word again, "I'm not a virgin, I did have sex with other women. The last time I did was last week. My sexual appetite is high, Zony, high." I gulped. "If I don't have sex, I literally went insane. At first, I tried to stop it. I didn't want to have sex with anyone other than you, but I went berserk and it reached the Emperor,"

I was about to react badly pero nang nagpatuloy siya at kinuwento niya 'yon, that's when I conclude this man, this man is so direct.

"It interfered with work and the Emperor didn't like it. You've seen him if he didn't like something or someone. He did worst to me because I am his soon-to-be heir. The Emperor threatened to cut off my cock if I didn't relieve my appetite,"

Oh, he would. That sounds like him.

"So I had sex with a girl. I chose someone who resembles you. Same hue of black on the hair color. I fucked her from behind. I fucked them all from behind pretending they were you because I won't be satisfied, I couldn't come, I couldn't find any relief if it's not you inside my head."

Well...

Fuck.

"That's how I survive without you for three years now."

I didn't know someone need me like this.

"But know, Zony, that even when you're here, I won't force myself on you. Starting from now on, I won't do anything if you don't permit it,"

There's too much love on those eyes...

"If you want me to stop sleeping under your bed, I will.

If you want me to stop checking if you're okay, I will.

If you want me to stop replenishing you milk powders, I will.

If you want me to do anything, I will.

But there's only one thing I must ask of you, the one thing I won't be able to do because might as well kill me if you want me to do this.."

Is he for real?

Prince Knidn De Silva, are you real or am I just at sleep, my mind weaving a story?

Only that I couldn't seem to decide if this is a dream or a nightmare.

Knidn continued,

"Please don't ask me to stop loving you."

Tears started forming on his eyes.

"Please."

And these tears finally fell. I watch those water droplets slide down his ragged, handsome face.

"I won't ask you to do anything you don't want to do, Knidn."

Although he has willingly given me control, I'm not the kind of person who takes someone else's free will.

Nahinto ang pagluha niya and he gave me his beautiful smile again.

"Thank you, Zony."

Bending my knees, I also knelt down hanggang sa magkaharapan na kami. He looked surprised. Mas lalo siyang nasorpresa nang hinawakan ko ang mga balikat niya.

"You..You're not disgusted after everything I told you that you..you can bear touching me?" tanong niya na manghang-mangha ang boses.

"Are all of those true? Hindi ka ba talaga magsisinungaling sa akin?"

Tumango siya at sinabing, "Yes, all true. I would never lie to you. I swear upon God."

I smiled at him, "Honesty like this would never disgust me."

Isinandal ko ang aking ulo sa kanang balikat niya. This man, this strong and powerful man, kneeling with me, confessing everything to me so no secrets would remain between us...

I feel something for him but it's not love yet. I knew love. Love was much stronger than this. But it's getting there.

Three years ago, I'm at the worst mental well-being. I was so lost, so afraid, so worried about nothing and everything. To think that someone could still see me at my worst even if I don't know it back then is a relief. A very effective relief.

Knidn placed his hands on my hips, touching me lightly. As if afraid I would run away if he add more pressure.

Then I told him, "I'm not yet ready to fall in love again, Knidn De Silva."

"I know. It's alright. Just let me love you." sagot niya sa isang malambing na tono.

I didn't answer. But when I surrender myself to exhaustion and I fell on his arms, Knidn was there to catch me and he didn't let go.

Before I completely fell at sleep, he smells like home, he feels like home. Hindi ko alam kung paano 'yon naging possible. I knew he exist just this morning.

But it felt right. He feels right.

And with these thoughts, falling at sleep on his arms was an answer to his request...

Just let me love you.

He could love me

But the one who would fix me

Is me.