The Donor

Chapter 20

“Dinah,” I poke my head around the wall to the living room, my Polynesian roommate looking away from the TV at the call, “I’m gonna have a bath so if the kids wake up then you handle it!” I smile tiredly when she groans in response.

“Whatever. Have your bath. You stink anyway!” I ball up my socks that I have been taking off while talking to Dinah and throw them forcefully at her before ducking back down the corridor and into the main bathroom before she can retaliate. Through growing up and having our own children, Dinah and I had always behaved immaturely and carefree with one another and keeping up with our usual antics has provided a reasonably good distraction for the past week.

My little family’s weekend away at Lauren’s beach house was a week ago. As Emelia’s other mother, of course I had seen her since, I wouldn’t keep Lauren away from our daughter. But that was it all was. Lauren and Emelia. Sometimes the three of us, but Emelia was always there unlikely before. This past week, there wasn’t really a Lauren and I. Yes, we were both busy with work but when we were together, neither of us knew what to say. I could tell Lauren was trying but I didn’t know how to. I wasn’t angry with her anymore. I couldn’t be angry at the fact she has had a fling with somebody before, or even had been sexual with somebody else before, because I had been too. I was however still upset over the fact it took so long for Lauren to tell me about Charlotte. She hadn’t even wanted to, I had to force it out of her. That’s what upset me. I didn’t understand why she had lied to me, nor did I understand if the woman was still important to Lauren and that is what made me upset: uncertainty.

I wanted to ask her, but I couldn’t. I was afraid she would lie again and I wouldn’t know the truth. She had called and texted, I obviously couldn’t ignore her, I wouldn’t want to, but I was always unnecessarily blunt and narrow with her. I didn’t want to be but I couldn’t control it. I was just feeling hurt and it would be fake of me to behave at my usual. But fuck, I really did miss her.

My weekend with her was incredible until that moment. When we would spend time with Emelia, it was like everything I had ever wanted. A family, and a happy family at that. The three of us where never neutral or unbothered being around each other, we were always excitable and affectionate. Nothing could stop smiles spreading across all three of our faces.

But when it was just me and Lauren. That was something I never expected. Everything with her was always so intense, exhilarating, and so fucking good. From the innocent kisses and caresses, Lauren holding me while we slept and kissing my hair, to the intense moments when we had fully given ourselves to each other. Everything with her was incredible.

Was.

What the fuck am I doing? Why am I thinking in the past tense?

I shake my head from the warming, beautiful thoughts I had running through my head and reprimand myself for assuming it to be over between Lauren and I. It’s not over.  It can’t be over before it has barely even started. The peaceful silence, only ruined by my loud and irritating thoughts, is interrupted by a timid knocking on the bathroom door.

“I’m still in the bath, Dinah. What is it?” The younger woman doesn’t reply, just opens the door and lets herself into the bathroom while I look down and ensure the bubbles in the bath are covering my naked body. We should really get that lock fixed.

“Someone wanted to see you.” My eyebrows crease in confusion until Dinah backs away toward the bathroom door again and the green-eyed woman who had been plaguing my thoughts appears in her place.