Run Away With Me

Chapter 5: Desperation

Derrick's POV

A confession. An act filled with desperation, courage, and affection. An act I can never get myself to carry out.

Simply because, I'm a coward.

I'm frightened of the risk of it. Of its impact to the bond I've so carefully treasured. Imagine it's a glass figurine that you regularly wipe clean, take care of, and suddenly, one day, you decided to bring it with you. You held onto it while venturing into the world. You risk it. And in a second, it slips out of your hand. It falls. It breaks. It shatters. From big shards to miniscule pieces of it on the ground.

And there's nothing you can do but be in grief. There's no miracle for what's already broken. You can't glue it back together and even if you did, you'd still be missing pieces of it.

There is nothing I can do to bring back what's already done. That's why, I'd rather stay back. Watch. Even if it hurts. Besides, that's what I've been doing these past few years.

And yes, I do have regrets.

I remained a spectator to my love being taken away by somebody else.

I took no action and voiceless I was.

But.. I'd rather lose you to someone else than risk losing the memories we shared. I'd rather remain a spectator rather than risk a gamble I'd never win to begin with.

However it has come to my attention that I have to do something, I've decided to try and get away from these chains I've shackled myself into. Not for a desire of another love. Not to forget you and our memories.

It's that it has become a necessity. It's gone for far too long that I've grown dependent of my happiness to you.

I need to move on from you, Gemini.

And Hopefully.. I Do.

This is my second attempt. And this time, I'll be able to walk out of this unrequited love.

"O-okay?" Her eyes squinted in shock of my reply. "Anong okay?" She asked in need of immediate reassurance.

I smiled tenderly at her, her genuine reactions were enough to captivate me and maybe, take me away completely.

"I'll be your boyfriend starting now."

I confirmed, her face looked as if she couldn't believe we were in a relationship.

"Talaga ba? Omg.. hindi ka nagbibiro Derrick?" Tanong niya pa causing me to chuckle.

"Yeah." Salita ko.

Although deep down, I could feel guilt churn inside me. I know this is wrong but it might be the only way.

I'm sorry Stella.

"What do you want to do?" Tanong ko sa kaniya, her face filled with pure joy and excitement. "Ano! Ewan? Ahhh, ano.. date?" She suggested anxiously.

Napangiti ulit ako sa kaniya. She's so amusing and adorable. "Puwede." Sagot ko.

It's been two weeks ever since our first club meeting. Stella's always had some way to contact us, no, me in particular. Although right then and there at the club meeting, I could already tell she was interested in me.