Run Away With Me

Chapter 17: His End

Gemini's POV

Unexpected.. it was unexpected. How.. could I be so oblivious to what he felt?

..I.. I'm at fault. I ignored the signs. I..

Pretended as if, they meant nothing. How he looked at me, how he would treat me so calmly and gently..

How he would always prioritize me..

I've.. been pretending that it all meant nothing because.. we're friends. We're supposed to be friends. Childhood best friends, right?

Akala ko na okay lang. Akala ko na walang ibig sabihin yon. Na..

Na normal lang yon para sa kaniya. Na baka sa akin lang komportable si Erick. He's been treating me the same since for ever, that I deluded myself into thinking that 'how Erick treats me' is normal. Or that-- I sighed deeply.

..malay ko ba. Ewan. Hindi ko.. ewan.

I didn't.. know.. yeah, I didn't know. Of course I didn't know, right?

..of course.. I didn't..

"I didn't." Mahinang bulong ko sa sarili ko. Feeling the tears well up my eyes. Bakit ba kasi ang sakit sa pakiramdam?

Right.. of course it would hurt this much. Halos hindi na nga ako makahinga eh..

F-ck.. bakit kase Erick?

"Bakit.. pa kasi.." my voice constricting due to the pang I felt in my chest. "..Ako?" Habang nakaupo sa lapag sa may camp fire. It's already morning.. If only I didn't get drunk, right? Then maybe, this wouldn't have happened.

And then maybe I could've gone on life, not knowing how he felt. Because now that I know,

How am I supposed to deal with it?

No one.. teaches the to-do's in problems like this.. no one. Not schools, not my parents, no one.

That's because, I have no one.

I have no one but Erick.

But that, it's all for naught. Now I really have no one... "I-I have no one." Naiiyak na salita ko at doon, isa-isang tumulo yung mga luha mula sa mga mata ko. Dropping down the ground.

Napayakap ako sa sarili ko as I curled up into a ball. My head on my knees and my arms around my legs.

"G-get out."

"Please.. f-cking get.. out!"

He.. screamed at me with I don't know.. he seemed like he was suffering. Like I made him suffer.

I don't know..

His brows were scrunched up in the middle, his eyes were puffy, his nose in a nuance of red, and his voice was breaking out of tone.

He was a complete mess, malayong-malayo sa Erick na kilala ko. Na para bang ibang tao siya..

Then doesn't that mean, I never.. knew him? Doesn't that mean that even if I was the closest to him, I still never knew who he was?..

Right.. I haven't.. seen him scream at someone like that. Sa totoo lang, nagulat ako nang.. sobrang sobra nung sumigaw si Erick sakin.

Na para bang nasaktan ako.. basta bumigat yung pakiramdam ko..

Mabigat yung pakiramdam ko.

I don't know.

Iiwan niya ba ako?.. Right of course, stop thinking about yourself, Gemini.