CHAPTER 53

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I sighed sadly as I walked down the corridor towards the sultan courters for the last time in god knows when. When I reached there I saw that I was the last one to arrive and all of my children were already there waiting for me. They all bowed to me along with the maids when they saw me.

I took my place at the very beginning of the line where I'm supposed to be as the valide sultan. The doors opened and Murad came out from beside me in his armor with Ali pasha and Husain agha behind him.

"Valide, pray for us," he said taking my hand in his and kissing the back of it. He looked me in the eyes and I could see the slight fear in them yet determination to come back victorious shadowed that down.

"May Allah brings you back to me victorious," I said patting his hand holding myself back with difficulty from hugging him and embarrassing him in front of his slaves.

"Pray for is sultana" Ali pasha said kneeling down in front of me and kissing my robes. I nodded my head as my answer as he moved on to Zahra who held Shahrazad in her arms bouncing her up and down to make her stop fuzzing.

"I will protect the sultan with my life," Husain said before kneeling and kissing my robes before moving to Handan. Kemankes walked over and stood beside me trying to not be suspicious to Murad.

"Kemankes" I nodded at him to stand in front of me. He moved and bowed to me.

"Murad must live Kemankes and make sure to tell him that Lara is pregnant with his third child" he bowed before following after Murad and the rest of the pashas.

"Is she really?" I turned to look at Handan who was the one to ask me

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"Is she really?" I turned to look at Handan who was the one to ask me. I gave her a slight smile.

"Of course darling, I wouldn't say something I wasn't sure of," I said patting her arm before turning to Shahrazad and taking her small hand in mine and gave it a small kiss.

"Karla prepare the pregnancy juice and give the maids some gifts and don't forget to make lukmat" she bowed before running to the kitchens to get everything ready.

"Malin, go to the sultanas' castles and bring their things here they will be staying with us here until their husbands are back" she bowed and walked out to get ready before leaving.

"But mother-" I raised my hand stopping Zahra before she could say anything.

"You're staying here with me and there's no changing that" she nodded her head with a small smile.

"Emily prepare a room for Lara hatun and move her there by the end of the week" she bowed but stayed out having a week to prepare a room was a lot of time.

"And send a doctor to see when Ayse will give birth so we can send her away as soon and possible" she nodded before leaving.

"Come on girls let's have lunch together in the gardens today," I said smiling at my daughters.

"Mother" I turned to Beyazid who was the one to speak.

"Yes darling" I nodded at the girls to go on before me. They bowed before leaving with their children and sibling leaving me alone in the corridor with Beyazid.

"Mother, will Murad come back?" He asked the same question I've been asking myself since he declared the war.

"He will. He has to" I said pulling him in for a side hug.

"And next time I want to go with him," he said as if he was stating a fact as I ran my hand through his hair.

"Of course my brave lion" I chuckled and bent down to kiss his forehead

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"Of course my brave lion" I chuckled and bent down to kiss his forehead.

"Take the prince to his classes" I ordered one of the maids with me, she bowed and ushered him off.

I took a deep breath before walking into Murad's now empty room. I hated the room more than anything at the moment, it was dull and empty there was no life in here at the moment.

I walked out on the teras and leaned against the railing watching as my daughters walked over to the tent that was put up for us to eat in. Gevehran held her younger sister, Atike's hand, and walked with a skip in her steps.

I pray to you Allah to bring me my son safe and sound because I don't think I could live another loved one's death. I turned around ready to walk out and go down to the gardens but stopped when I heard a loud scream making my blood freeze.

I turned around and looked down to see Atike on the floor unconscious as her sisters stood over her trying to wake her up. A harem agha walked over and picked her up being the only male able to touch her since they were not real men. I felt my heart drop in fear for the small girl, she was not my daughter but I still loved her as such just like Ayse and Fatma.

I ran to the harem and straight to her room where I knew they would take her and I was right, I walked in just as the harem agha placed her down on her bed and a doctor started checking over her.

"What happened?" I asked Fatma who was the calmest one out for the girls.

"She just fainted mother" she answered. I walked over to the other side of the bed and held her small hand in mine feeling scared for the young girl. She was not my daughter but Ahmed made me swore to take care of her and I haven't done a great job at that lately being too occupied with Murad and his campaign.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked the doctor who moved her attention from the girl to me.

"I do not know sultana" that was the answer I feared, it was a sickness they did not know and did not have the cure to at the moment.

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