Made for me🖤

Part fifty

Imogen's POV

Like Niagara falls, hot tears streamed down my cheeks and I made no attempt to wipe them away, turning to my side, I buried my head into one of my many wet pillows and continued to sob.

I won't blame fate.

I won't blame my mum.

Neither will I blame Junior.

I'm solely responsible for my own pain, every single one of it is my own fault.

In life everyone is entitled to making their own decisions, people may may add to it or try to influence it but in the end, the sole and final decision rests with you yourself.

I was in that kind of situation while growing up. Growing up in a family with a loving father by your side, an annoying brother who indisputably loved and wanted only the best for me and a nanny who was more of a mother than the one who have birth to me was the only thing that was worth remembring in my childhood.

Unfortunately for me, at a time too late to turn back, I have now known having an evil mother like Morganna was only a dilemma rather than what I thought as a child. She was perfect in my eyes, the mother who loved me so much and granted my every request, gave me the right to do whatever I wanted.

She never censored my life, in fact she encouraged me to make the most out of my youthful days. Yes, what kind of a mother advices her daughter to encourage as many men as she can, play them till they were like stooges who will gladly lick off my feet even if they were covered in moss?

That was the kind of mother I had who indirectly groomed me to the worthless piece of human being I am today. I won't say directly because I could have decided not to do what she bad adviced yet I chose to act on it and if I am here today, having lost all that I had, its no one's but only my fault.

Now I have nothing else to live for. In my stupidity, I managed to drive away the only man I ever loved, in my jealousy, I've lost the only good person in my life who loved ne without a condition and necrr judged me.

I wasn't completely honest with her despite knowing she wasn't one to judge. I couldnt because I was ashamed of who I truly was, I couldn't because I didn't need a reminder of who I used to be.

And now I've lost everything, I sobbed harder into my pillow. My head was spinning and throbbing so bad yet it couldn't be compared to the pain I have in my heart.

I can take everything but not this pain of knowing I am my own enemy, everything is lost, I have nothing to live for. It's better I leave this world forever, perhaps I'll get peace, even if a little knowing I'm no longer an enemy to someone and a bother to my family.

Gathering the little strength I bace left in my now thin and frail body that can be passed for that of an AIDS patient, I climbed out of bed and walked to my closet, to the secret compartment where I have hidden the one illegal thing that relieves me of this pain.

As I walked there, I passed by the wall between the bathroom and closet and my eyes caught a picture of Nae and I that I had out into a frame just like the others, this however was my favorite.

It was one out if the many pictures we took on our three days trip to the mountains, I wanted wild adventure that was dangerous and after much convincing she agreed to go with me, skipping two days and missing important lessons at school all for me.

She loved me that much and I did too but my past and who I truly was sadly, but the truth needs to me told, was greater than the love I had for her.

I changed after finding out she was engaged to my man, my junior. I failed to realize he was no longer mine, our story ended long before they met but the pain of being scorned again after all those years ate me up to the core and I hurt her in the worst possible way, I was aware she was hurting deeply inside after what I said to her yet my inner evil wasn't satisfied. I went ahead to conjure up lies that seemed like the truth and couldn't be ignored.