Basically just my life being Gender fluid. Idk. I was bored and tired. Might delete this later.
Mostly a rant book, honestly.
Impressive Ranks:
69 in Genderfluid
28 in Genderfluid
175 in queer
118 in Diary
WARNING mentions of suicidal thoughts. Please do not read if you think it could trigger you. It is sweet at the end, tho. —————————————————
This is a story that at the time of writing this, only happened about 5 to 7 minutes ago.
My mom and i had a heated argument. I kept thinking to myself "why is it that everything a say is rude according to my mom" and other things like that. My thoughts soon began to escalate. I was thinking about suicide and how everyone would adjust just fine without me there. I was thinking if ways i could kill myself and such. I began sobbing in my room. As i cried, my black cat, Tamzen, slowly sat closer and closer to me. Soon, while trying to think to myself "WHY AM I THINKING IF SUICIDE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. STOP." , I started having a panic attack. My breath quickened and i didn't know what was happening around me. I couldn't slow down my breathing. Very quickly, Tamzen (my cat) came up to me and started sniffing me. I was sitting criss cross on the floor. Also, keep in mind, Tamzen doesn't usually go up to people, you usually have to chase her. Anyways. She came up to me and sniffed me. I focused on her for a moment, trying to calm down, but then i thought "if i died i would miss her so much..." and that sent me further into a panic. Tamzen then batted my cheek, like she was trying to wipe away my tears. Obviously she wasn't, but what the actual heck. I googled it, and cats don't do that very often.
So she eventually calmed me down by just sitting near me, and i'm now sitting in my bed while Tamzen stares at my hamster.
My cat could easily now be my emotional support cat.
She does this whenever i have a panic attack, am crying, am over excited, etc
This wasn't just a one time thing. My cat is amazing, and without her, i would have one less reason to wake up in the morning, and to live another day.
Thank you for reading.
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