Gender fluid Diaries

Father.

I don't know my dad, and that never bothered me until recently.

I suddenly feel like only half of a person.

Like i'll never know whats its like to have a dad, even for a moment.

He could be amazing.

He could be trash.

Who knows how he would react to me if i met him.

But i feel helpless. Like i'll never get to meet him. Like my dad was robbed from me.

I feel like half of a whole, and im not sure what to do anymore.

What did i get from him? It seems nothing, im all my family rolled into one, but i feel like if i met him it would be obvious what i got from him.

But i'll never know...