How i speak to small children.

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Me: *sees child* "Yes hello child"

Child: *stares at me* "...hi-"

My mom: 👌👁👄👁

Me: "hey look i can play the ukulele" *plays the ukulele*

Child: *either goes "wow" or just walks away*

My mom: "... At least ur still getting paid to babysit thus kid-"

Me: "Doe: a deer. A female deer-~~"

Child: *runs away, if hasn't already run away*

Me: "oK-"

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