A Little Too Much || Jaesung

14. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑺𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑴𝒆 𝑹𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

USUALLY WHEN JISUNG goes to public places, his anxiety takes over him. His hands shake uncontrollably, and his heart feels like it's stuck in his throat. He can't help himself from fiddling with something, whether it be his hair, his ear or his fingers. It makes him look like a creep, and some people give him odd looks for his tendencies. He tries to take control of it, but even his medications can't help the physical effects.

That's why the blonde normally avoids those types of places, but somehow, Jaemin makes it a little bit better.

When they first arrived at the mall, Jisung's hands, of course, began to shake. Perhaps some people wouldn't notice it, but he did and he hated every second of it. That's when he glanced down and noticed the other's calm hand, and intertwined his fingers with it. Instantly, Jaemin's warm palms smoothed his, and hid his shakiness. It was a safe place.

When the elder glanced at him with a teasing smile, he refused to look up. He did want to ruin anything, or let Jaemin know that he was a little bit anxious.

Surprisingly though, the outing wasn't as stressful as he thought it would be. He actually enjoyed spending time with Jaemin and his siblings. He loved seeing the joy on the children's face, and he knew it was making the elder even happier. He could tell just from the glittering smile that adorned his face the whole day. He liked this feeling.

For once he wasn't under his parents scrutinizing glare, or being held against his father's intense expectations. He wasn't a failure, he wasn't a disappointment to everyone around him. For once he was the cause of someone's happiness, and not their pain. It was almost like a win-win: spending time with Jaemin, getting away from his own painless reality and make two little kids happiest as can be, all while impressing their older brother.

When it was time to pay, the total came to be around two-hundred and thirty three dollars. Jaemin tried to interfere and pay, his polite persona always shining through but Jisung denied it quickly. He wasn't trying to show off his money, but he had tons of it to go around. His father owned three oil companies after all. Plus, he didn't want Jaemin to spend a single dime on this.

Why was he doing this? You may ask. Trying to be a sugar daddy or something?

The quick answer to that is no.

The real reason is because Jisung wants to please the other. He has real feelings for him, at least he thinks. He's never really felt much other than anger, pain and numbness due to his parents own neglect. But with the brunette he feels something different, something he's never felt before. Something passionate, red, and deep. He can't explain it but it's not malice, it's something nicer. Warmer. Comforting. Jaemin makes him feel safe, and has somehow understood his complicated self since the day they first met. He's generous, kind, and optimistic. Jisung needs that kind of light in his life.

Another reason is that Jaemin is probably one of his first friends. A real one, at least. He wants to repay the boy by doing something that will relieve a little stress in his life. This was the only thing he could come up with. He's not very skilled in expressing himself with words, and he hoped his money was enough.

He could tell Jaemin felt guilty for allowing the blonde spend his money on him, but that made him fall harder for the elder. The boy who doesn't have much is so quick to give, and so fast to deny when the act is being returned.

The day went fast, and before he knew it he found himself riding a pony on a carousel. Joonie and Jia's ecstatic shrills filled his ears, but he was raptured by the boy beside him. Their hands are connected once again, always seeming to be pulled together by something, almost magnetic. When he glances at the brunette, he can't help but stare in awe. He looks . . . beautiful. The natural lights shine on his face, making him glow, and his smile has always been a weak point. He looks so happy, and Jisung feels complete knowing that he is a part of the reason.

Jisung's stomach twists as he hears Jaemin laugh angelically, and he can't help but long to hear it forever.

What is this boy doing to me? He wonders.

two updates in one day! tehe, that's the first time i've done that!

anyway, this is just an intentionally, very short chapter with jisung's POV because i wanted to give him a bit of the spotlight and let you guys know what's going on through his mind too! 🥰

also thank you guys SO much for 1K reads and (almost) 300 votes! it means so much to me ♡︎ i remember when i first started writing this book, no one ever read it and it would take months just for me to get one more reader, but now this book has come so far. although there are many fanfics based on this idea because of that edit, i feel like i've truly created my own universe and made this storyline unique. i'm so happy writing this story, and i'm so happy that people are enjoying reading it!!