ONCE UPON A TIME ✨

10.Present and my future

"Here is your cappucino. Enjoy your day" Wendy, the cafe waitress gave me a warm smile and walked away from my table.

I was waiting for Eleanor, Clint and Elijah as we promised. I smiled back weakly at her because i don't want to be rude. I couldn't give her a proper smile or thank you. My mind was loaded with a lot of stuffs that i can't concentrate on the reality.

I stirred my coffee, still fighting in my mind to whether tell them or not about Betty. I thought i was ready to tell them the entire story, but it turned out that i am not. I sighed and looked out the window.

'What do you want from me, Betty? I can't live without thinking about you at all. What should i do? I decided to let you go for once, but why i still had that dream? What you are trying to tell me? That you are not going to let me do that? That i have to be stucked in a guilty feeling forever? That i am not worth it to love someone?' i was getting angrier at this point that i punched the table quite hard.

"Woah, someone is cranky today" i heard someone commented and looked up to see Eleanor standing infront of me. She was followed by Clint and Elijah.

I smiled at the sight of them, especially Elijah. But, Elijah's face was not as cheerful as he used to be. He even didn't look at me. They sat at the table and i moved a bit, so the table can fit us all. There was a moment of silence at the table because the three of them were clearly wanted me to speak first. However, i didn't know where or how to start.

"So, how are you?" Clint asked with a sarcastic tone.

I took a deep breath before i continued saying, "Look. Guys, im really sorry for-" i was stopped when Eleanor said, "Ha, now you want to speak. Where the hell have you been?! We were worried sick of you. Why you didn't inform us about anything? We called you for like, 80 times" Eleanor half-shouted.

"Um, 50 times actually" i said quietly.

Eleanor gasped, "don't you dare talk back, young lady. Answer my questions".

"Okay. I am really sorry that i bailed out on you guys and ignored your calls for the past two days. I was having an... um, emergency back at home" i said. Great, im lying straight to their faces. They all deserve to know the truth, but yet, im doing this again. I felt very bad inside, but i didn't have a choice.

"What kind of emergency? Look, Tasha, we all need to know what happened. We all were so worried about you" Clint said, looking at Elijah at his last sentence. Elijah was still quiet, but he was looking at me.

I looked at the three of them, holding Betty's friendship ring chain. 'What should i tell them now? They all deserve an explanation from me. But,im not ready...You know what, screw this. Im going to tell them. Im going to tell them about Betty, about my dream and the stupid attack they witnessed in the lecture hall. Relax and tell them about Betty. This is going to help you to overcome your fear. Just like what happened at home. You confronted mom and she helped you to let go of dad. So, tell them about Betty and everything going to be fine. Be cool and talk about it. About Betty' i thought in my mind but what came from my mouth after that was so freaking different.

"My dog died" what? Goddamnit.

I was so shocked at my own statement, but my friends were even more shocked than me. They looked at me with a surprised and are-you-kidding-me-look. I already said it so there was no turning back. I nodded and gave them a weak smile, hoping they will took it as a reason.

"Thats it?" Elijah finally talked. His tone was very serious and i sort of got chilled from it.

"Your dog died? Tasha, we were worried like hell about you. We thought you got an anxiety attack or something that morning. We even rushed back to your room to check whether you were there or not. We ran around this campus, like an idiot looking out for you. We skipped our lecture that morning because we were looking for you. We called you like 100 times just to be ignored by you. And you didn't bother to call us back at all. You ignored our messages, Tash. Do you know how much we were worried? Do you have any idea? Do you know we didn't sleep that night, worrying something might happen to you? And you did all of that just because your dog died? You could just text us. A single text, Tash and we won't be that much worried of you for the past two days... I can't believe you" and with that he left. He walked away, smashing the cafe door.

I sat still at my place, not moving and trying to digest whatever happened just now. What the hell was that? That was the first time i saw Elijah being that angry and his face and ears went red. I looked at Eleanor and Clint who was completely shocked just like me. They looked at each other, talking with their eyes. I didn't know what was that but they clearly knew something that i don't.

"What just happened?" i said, blinking my eyes.

"Um, we had no idea" Clint said, resting his arms on the table.

"Did something happen while i was away? Something with him?" i asked, figuring out that he must not be that angry just because of me. Something must had happened to him. Both of them shrugged their shoulders while shaking their heads.

"Hey, but know this. Some of those things that he told you just now were not true. Yes, we skipped the lecture that morning, looking out for you. But, we were only like 10 minutes late to the class, so Clint and I figured out that we should just skipped it. And both of us went back straight to our rooms. But, i don't think  Elijah went back to his room. He must be looking out for you. And the part, 'we' didn't sleep that night was not true at all. Clint and I slept like a pig that night. I think it was Elijah who didn't sleep that night" she air-quoted 'we'.

I was startled. He was so worried of me that he didn't sleep the whole night? And he was looking for me all day. Out of 50 missed calls that i got, 42 of them were from Elijah and he sent me tons of messages. Why he is doing this?

"He likes you" Clint said as if he can read my mind.

"Huh?" that thing came out my mouth involunteerily.

"Dude, open your eyes. This man is crazy about you. You should give him a chance. He seems like a good guy" Clint commented and took my cappucino and drank it. I let him drank my coffee because i was still in shock and didn't have the energy to fight over the coffee.

"Look, Tasha. You like him and he likes you too. So, just tell your feelings to him and things are going to be great between you guys. I promise that. Don't let him go" Eleanor said, squeezing my hands softly.

I nodded at her. 'Don't let him go'. That sentence made me realized that if i want to be in Elijah's life, i have to let go of Betty. Because as long as Betty's death taking control of me, I can't let Elijah into my life. The guilty and fear that something similar will happen to Elijah as Betty won't let me to be with him. I have to decide whom i have to let go.  Elijah or Betty? Betty was my past. But, Elijah is my present and most probably, my future too. I want to be with him. My feelings towards him getting stronger at the thought of being with him.He makes me so happy that whenever im with him, i forgot completely about Betty.

I smiled at my decision and said "Im going to talk to him".

Eleanor and Clint gave me a proud grin and after that, we ordered coffee and we talked about things that i missed out for the past two days.

Meanwhile, i texted Elijah that im sorry and i wanted to meet him privately to talk. I knew that there was something going on in Elijah's life from the way he reacted just now. He needs me and i need him. 

***

Its been a week since the incident where Elijah stormed off from the cafe. He had been avoiding us since then. He never reply to any of my texts. He had been sitting away from us in the class and whenever we had to face each other walking in hallway, he would look away from us. We tried to talk to him, but the constant ignoring pissed Clint and Eleanor off. And, since then, they stopped trying.

It was our students newspaper meeting and on that day, our task was to discuss with partner about the project in the class. So, Elijah had no choice. He was forced to sit facing me. I looked at him with narrowed eyes and gave him the intense look.

"What?" he rolled his eyes.

"Why you are avoiding us?"

"Are you really going to talk about this right now?"

"Yes. Because,i couldn't get hold of you the other time. You had been avoiding us for a week, fyi" i said, crossing my arms.

"Fine, i will tell you. But, not now. Arrange a meeting or something later" he said, glancing at our professor who was going from table to table to ask about our progress on the project.

"You promise you will come?"

"Yes, i promise. Just, focus on the discuss right now. I don't want to get 0% on this project" he complained in nervous as the professor walking towards us.

"Fine" i said. "So, when we are getting into the conjuring place?"