ONCE UPON A TIME ✨

16. I loved her

Elijah's pov:

My world spiraled around me as i struggled to open my eyes. I heard someone calling my name very vaguely. Like that person was talking to me from 10 miles away. I tried to answer them but it felt like i lost my voice. My whole body was not in my control anymore.

'What the hell is happening to me?' i thought while trying to remember anything that happened. But, i failed. I couldn't think a single thing. All i could do that time was to not give up. I fought with my body, forcing myself to wake up from whatever state im in right now. I don't know whether i was dreaming or stucked in a limbo. Either way, i just wanted to wake up.

Slowly, i felt like my body was giving up to my mind. I could recognize the person's voice. It was my mom and she kept saying "Please, wake up honey. We need you". She was sobbing and i also could hear my dad who was calming her down. My eyes didn't feel heavy anymore and i flutter open my eyes. The image was blurry at first but then, after a few seconds, i saw both my parents.

"Mom.. Dad" i whispered slowly. They realized i was awake and my mom sobbed even harder. But, she was smiling and told me "Welcome back, Eli".

I was confused at her sentence. Welcome back? What did she mean? i looked around and was shocked to see that i was lying on a hospital bed. They was an ECG machine beside me which kept making beeping sound. I was also connected to a breathing ventilator machine. What the-? What happened to me? Why am i in a hospital? Why there are a lot of machines here? Alot of thoughts crossed my mind. I tried to move my hand but i couldn't. I looked down to see my hand and leg were bandaged. I was even more shocked and confused at this point.

And then, everything that happened hit me right on my face. I was with Tasha. I went to buy us some water when she ran towards the car, like she was trying to suicide. I rushed to help her and .. and.. i was hit by a car.

"Tash.. tash" i spoke in the breathing mask and tried to wake up. I tried to open the mask but my mom stopped me. The last thing i remember was pushing Tash into a bush or something. I really hoped she was okay.

"She is safe" my dad said. I lied back down and looked at the ceiling. I sighed before i ask, "how long i had been out?".

My parents looked at each other and hesitantly answered, "18 days".

WHAT? I was completely horrified by their answer. How could this happen? My brain could not process that piece of information. I looked at my parents for an explanation. I need to know everything that happened in those eighteen days.

My mom took a deep breath and said, "You were in a coma for eighteen days. Doctor told us that you had brain injuries and it would took time for you to become conscious. I was happy that it was just ten days. I.. i.. thought it will took more time than that and .. we couldn't lost you". She started to cry softly, holding my hand. My father patted her shoulder and continued telling me the rest of the story.

"Actually, when we you had the.. accident, you lose a lot of blood. You also had a broken neck, broken hands and legs and .. was fully unconscious and not breathing for several minutes. Doctor told us that the chance of you living was 50-50. Your mom and me were really scared that you would leave us. Luckily, after the AEDs, you started to breath again. But, due to a lot of bleeding in your brain, doctor told that you will be in a coma for several days or months or .. even years" he sighed and smiled weakily, "but, you are with us now... We were really scared, Eli". i could see tears forming in my dad's eye. That was the first time in my life i saw my dad getting emotional. I couldn't imagine what i would've done if i was in their position. It must been so scary to know that your son might died. I gripped back my mom's hand and gave her a weak smile. I even don't know if she could see my smile from behind the mask. She wiped away her tears and smiled back.

"Oh, and your friends had been visiting you. They will be so happy to know that you are up" my mom sniffed and took her phone. Mybe calling my friends, i guessed.

"Tash?" i asked quietly. I was hoping that 'your friends' includes Tasha as well.

"She.. she stopped visting you from the second day. Since then, we never heard of her. Eleanor told me she even stopped coming to classes" my mom informed me. My dad and mom left me when the doctor came into the room to do some checkup.

I was not surprised or mad to know that Tasha was not coming to see me. I knew her more than she know herself. She must been feel so guilty right now that she was not brave enough to look at me. I felt pity on her. If she was here, i would've been hug her and told her that everything is okay. It was not her fault at all. I remembered saying 'i love you, Tash' in my mind right before i passed out. And, at that moment, i determined to not waste anymore time and tell her how i really feel about her. I don't want to regret any stuffs before i had to meet my real death. The next time i meet her, i wanted to tell that i love her.

The same evening, i was visited by Eleanor and Clint. A small part of me was disappointed when Tasha was not with them. They looked at me with pity eyes and gave me a weak smile.

"How are you feeling, Eli?" Clint asked slowly.

"Better" i answered very briefly because that stupid breathing mask disturbed my talking and i was having difficulty to talk normal. Clint and Eleanor nodded slowly.

"Tash.. how is Tash?" i asked. If there are anyone who knows Tasha better than me, then they will be Eleanor and Clint. They must know where is Tasha now and how is she.

Eleanor and Clint looked into each other and i saw Clint shaking his head, like asking Eleanor to not tell me anything. But, Eleanor insisted to tell me the truth and she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Look, Elijah. Its been days since we last talked with Tasha. We even didn't see her for quite number days. She was not coming to the classes. I only saw her in class twice in a week. Since.." she stopped and sighed, "since the accident, she was.. not okay. She had several bruises and a not-so-severe head injury from the accident. But, when she knew that you were in a coma, she was really sad and depressed for days. She had been avoiding people since then. We even tried talk with her, but she won't listen and she ignored us. I heard from Cathy, she cried in her room 24/7. Cathy said she kept saying things like 'its my fault, i should've been protect him' in her sleep. She hadn't been sleeping well since the day of accident. We knew something is definitely bothering her and we tried to help her, but she is not letting us. I am scared Elijah. I am scared that this thing is going to eat her alive. Only you can help her" Eleanor explained with tears rolling down her eyes. Clint squeezed her shoulders as an emotional support.

I couldn't imagine what Tasha had been going through. To almost losing someone you loved. She must had been really scared and guilty. I really wanted to hug her tight, put her head on my chest and stroke her hair, saying everything that happened was definitely not her fault. There is nothing to be guilty for and i loved her..

Its been days since Eleanor and Clint last visited me. It was 5 days to be precise. I tried calling Tasha but she didn't anwer them. Sometimes, she would switched her phone off, so i sent her few voicemails saying im okay and nothing she should worry of. I also said that we needed to talk and i really wanted to help her overcome her fear.

It was last day i stayed in hospital. The doctor told me that i was getting better and discharged me. But, i need to stay at home for a few weeks before i could attend my classes. I was so excited to attend classes at campus in hope to meet Tasha. Tasha never misses her classes. She is a really smart and hardworking student. So, when Eleanor and Clint told me that she was skipping classes, i assumed that they didn't see her in class because she maybe sat at a different seat. In the days where i was admitted in hospital and didn't see her at all, i realized how much i missed her. How much she is important to me and how much i loved her. Tasha had never visited me for almost a month and she had been ignoring my calls. I texted her sometimes but she never replied. I was getting more anxious and panicked at the thought of her being alone. Anything could happen when Tasha is alone and depressed. I was really scared and i prayed that she is okay wherever she is now.