𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑴𝑶𝑵 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑺𝑬, cmb ✓

- 𝟒𝟒 -

C M H

"You and me were so, so close
And maybe that's what hurts the most
It's out my hands, I've done what I can
So I just save my breath"
Younger - Ruel

"I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

I sit up straight in bed as a wake up from my sleep, immediately checking my left hand. Thank goodness no ring. Ever since I saw Corbyn and Lara at the NYC show, I can't get the image of me saying I'm engaged out of my head. I haven't been able to sleep right since then. I mean, what was I thinking? I'm 21, I'm still a teenager at heart. I doubt they remembered the small mess I made for myself, but even if they do remember, they wouldn't tell the world. It's just...I panicked. And I made a mistake. A big mistake.

I saw him in front of the hotel. Signing his autograph and taking pictures with fans. It's been forever since I saw him. We don't even follow each other on social media anymore. We unfollowed each other pretty much right after the breakup. It was only until recently when I started following Lara and getting to know her. And of course the fans went crazy, conspiracies' and all. I don't blame them though...I would've been surprised at me too.

When I saw him from the corner I was at, I panicked. I already knew about Lara and their relationship. I saw it all on Daniel's private Snapchat story. I think the rest of the band forgot that I'm still friends with them on there. But when I saw them, well more like him. I lost it. He moved on. We said we'd come back to each other. But I guess we were still kids back then.

I didn't want him thinking I wasn't over him. For the most part I was. Seeing him on TV or on social media every now and then never bothered me or even had an effect on me. It was seeing him in person, with my own two eyes. That hurt. He looked so happy. Then I realized, he's been happy. He moved on and he's happy, so why can't I be the same?

So I switched the ring onto my ring finger. And so the story goes. The big fat lie that keeps me awake these past nights. I didn't want Corbyn to think I was pining over him, 'cause I'm not. I'm...adjusting. 2 and a half years later and I'm still adjusting. I've had my fair share of bad exes before him. Then he came along, and I thought there was something special. We thought we were gonna get married. That didn't happen though.

Now I'm supposedly getting married to someone I don't even know. No one's getting married as far as I know. It's all a practical joke. I don't wanna continue or drag on the lie, that's just childish. But I'm gonna feel stupid for telling them it was a lie in the first place. They both looked so happy for me. Unlike me, I feel the opposite. I just feel like a fool.

I don't want Corbyn back. But I want someone like him. I don't know, call it stupid, but he set the bar so high. I don't think I can think of anyone who can top him. And now he's with her. That's what hurts the most. She gets to have him, while I'm alone again. Yet so much has happened these past years, and I seemed fine without him. I felt better than fine. All it took was one glance from across the street for me to fall back. One damn glance.

It's like a game of tug of war. I want him back. I don't want him back. I want him. I don't want him. It's annoying honestly, why can't I decide? Why does he have to make things so...hard...

Suddenly my phone vibrates on my nightstand and I get a text from an old friend who just might be the answer to my prayers.

Tate 💞

hey i'm having a party next week, i want you to come. here are the details hope to see you there <3

LA here I come...

. . .

(a/n)

short filler chapter for yall. sorry i haven't been updating lately. here's a quick update in my life:

school started ew
i joined my school's newspaper team :)
WHY DON'T MOTHERTRUCKING WE IS BACK 😭🤍🥳
#WDWFALLIN 9/29 CAN'T WAIT
oh and brunette corbyn might make his first debut in this book ;)))

ok buh bye lovelies mwah

(writing short chapters is strange ngl def not used to it lmao)