Lies make you weak and that's why you can't sleep

It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless

" come on now don't give me that look, I said I was sorry. Come on, you can trust me " the red-haired man spoke looking at the scared Illumi, who was shaking as the other two stood behind the red-haired man. " if you listen, we promise not to be as harsh " Kazmo spoke, reaching out to cup his bruised left cheek.

Illumi sat up in bed, he was sweating as he pants, he looks around noticing he's still in the hotel. ' calm down, it was only a dream ' he thought, he looks to his right and sees Hisoka sleeping peacefully. Once he calmed down, he gets out of bed and walks outside to get some fresh air. He leans against the rail looking up at the night sky, the wind blowing his raven locks back a bit.

~UxU~

Hisoka groans, he opens his yellow orbs letting them adjust to the lights. He sits up as he let's out a yawn, he looks around he was confused as he didn't see Illumi anywhere, the sound of a doorknob caught his attention. The bathroom door soon opens, Illumi walks out he looked paler than usual and had bags underneath his eyes. " morning " he spoke walking towards his bag looking for something, " you look like shit, rough night?~ " Hisoka spoke. " couldn't sleep as well, but it doesn't matter I can go days without sleep " Illumi spoke.

" right " he spoke looking him up and down, " get ready, we're leaving to Yorknew if you forget " Illumi spoke, " oh right " he spoke. Hisoka couldn't help but feel as if something was off about Illumi, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

~UxU~

An hour later they all meet up, they headed out to bored the first train to Yorknew, all made small talk, well except Illumi. Everyone noticed something was off about him, but when they asked he'll ignore them or say it was nothing. Hisoka didn't know but he was worried about the raven, it was weird but I mean he is his friend after all. All sat in the train as it headed off, Gon and Killua were talking about nonsense like usual, Leorio and Kurapika joining every now and then. Hisoka watched them a bit, but soon shifted his direction towards Illumi, who looked out the window looking deep in thoughts.

It was peaceful till Illumi phone rang, he opened it to see what it was, he simply turns off the screen, but something was different. He had this look in his eyes, how could you explain, fear no worry? Hisoka couldn't put his finger on it, the raven closes his eyes, resting his right cheek on the palm of his right hand. Hisoka soon turns his attention back to Gon and them, a few minutes pass when he suddenly feels a heavyweight on his left shoulder. Confused he turns to see Illumi head resting on his shoulder, as he was breathing softly, he couldn't help but feel this weird warm tingling feeling build up in his chest.

He placed an arm around his waist, pulling him closer, the other four not noticing, which was fine with the magician. He looks at the raven, a few strains of hair were in his face, he brushes them to the side. He looks at his long eyelashes, his little nose, and small thin lips, partly open a bit. His eyes linger on his lips, wishing to taste those lips once more, he couldn't help it. Something about him attracted the magician to him, he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

He was soon pulled out of his thoughts as he began to stir in his sleep a bit, he frowns a bit as he was sweating a bit, his breathing soon got heavier and faster. Killua looks over at the two, noticing this as well, " what's wrong with anki? " he spoke, the other three looking at them now. " aww he's having a nightmare~, how cute~ " Hisoka spoke. He suddenly sat up panting, he let out a scream/squeal, his hair covering his face which was looking down to his lap, as he was shaking a bit, could it because he was cold?

" ill-~ " Hisoka reached out to touch his shoulder, he was quick to grab it almost breaking his wrist till he realized it was Hisoka. " sorry " he spoke letting go of his wrist, calming down a bit. " are you okay Illumi? " he spoke concerned, " I'm fine, I'm going to go to the restroom. Excuse me " he spoke getting up, walking away. Hisoka looks at his disappearing figure, worrying about the raven. 

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable, distance

And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm content

With loneliness

The Only Exception ~ Paramore

09/10/2020

Word Count: 830