the other girl | crygi

twelve

nsfw////

Crystal walked and walked, not even minding where she was heading for several minutes. Her dorm was left far back when she realized where her subconscious was taking her. She was headed to her old comfort zone, back in Dahlia's arms, even though she wanted to avoid her at all costs.

She swallowed her pride and headed in the apartment, letting herself in with the spare keys Dahlia handed her. She climbed the stairs quickly and stood before the door to calm herself down, wiped her tears of with the backs of her hands as she regulated her breathing. She knocked cowardly, once only but Dahlia opened the door quickly.

"Hey baby! I just got back, come in," she greeted her and headed back inside. Her kindness irritated Crystal, it reminded her how awful she was. She left her jacket and followed her inside.

"I was just at the party and... I don't know, it felt off," she said settling on the couch uncomfortably. The feeling of not belonging was out of her chest now, conquering her whole body.

"Oh," Dahlia said quietly, sitting beside her on the arm of the couch. "What happened? Were you with someone?" Crystal knew the meaning behind those questions, she hated them for mostly how they were right.

"Just the girls..." she lied to her girlfriend again. "I was taking care of drunk Nicky most of the time, then Gigi for a little while." No more lies, she thought to herself.

"Cool," Dahlia answered simply before checking the watch on her wrist.

"You're not jealous?" Crystal asked boldly. Mind games were never their thing.

"No, I'm not jealous," Dahlia said with furrowed eyebrows. It went silent for a while. "Would you prefer me to be, or do I need to?"

"Lia, I can see right through your lie." Crystal looked up to Dahlia. Meeting her eyes took a lot of bravery. Dahlia just gulped as she glanced away, swallowed her feelings to not cause a fight.

"I said I'm not jealous, Crys," she got up, needing her space. "I'm so hungry, are you?" she said walking towards the kitchen.

"Stop being all kind and loving!" Crystal got up yelling, making Dahlia stop where she was.

"Why the fuck would you want that?" she asked after a while, turning on her heels to face the furious brunette.

"Because the guilt is eating me up! Fight me, yell at me, hate me!"

"Why, Crystal? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Dahlia yelled back, obeying Crystal's wishes unwillingly.

"Lia," Crystal got quieter suddenly and turned her eyes away. She ran her hand through her hair as the bravery left her soul as quick as it entered, leaving her in a dead end of confessing. "I initiated the stupid, non-existent kiss. I got close to her, I glanced at her stupid lips too long, I didn't pull away when she was about to end what I started." She talked quick but her girlfriend understood every word of it as every single one of them stung to her heart.

"You did what?" Dahlia asked, hoping to hear it all wrong with her tired state of mind.

"I started it all, and I'm so fucking riddled with guilt and confusion because I really like you, but I did all of that with you never leaving my mind for a second."

Dahlia walked closer to Crystal as she looked down, grabbed her wrists to shake her up from her slightly tipsy and self-hating state. Crystal tried to pull away from the longer girl's grip but all she could do was struggle under her strength.

"Look at me," Dahlia ordered her as she shook her head furiously. "Look at me in the eye!" Crystal obeyed and looked at her with full eyes and a trembling bottom lip. "I'm so fucking mad at you, it's impossible to explain."