Wistful Paradise / H.S. [COMPLETE]

Nine

Harry

My hand hovered over the handle of the door that's been closed for weeks. Today was Storm's due date and I've been itching to get a look at his baby room. I just want to pretend that for a moment Storm is here.

I turned on my heel as I heard the sound of our bedroom door opening, my hand withdrew as Florence walked out. "Hey, baby," I smiled softly. I could see in her eyes that she knew exactly what day it was. Also, the hand on her belly was a dead give away. 

Florence meekly smiles at me, her hair still wet from the shower she had earlier, before walking downstairs. She has been acting offbeat ever since her appointment with Doctor Paulsen and I guess today wouldn't be any different. I can feel that she's detaching herself from me and that hurts.

It hurts that she doesn't talk to me, I know she's dealing with her loss differently than I am but I want her to talk to me. We're both dealing with this but sometimes it feels like I'm alone in all of this. 

This can change so fast. Florence and I were happy, we were ready. Now there's a wall between us, sometimes it's made of paper but most of the time it is made out of bricks. Normally it isn't hard for me to break down Flo's walls but in these last few weeks, she's made it incredibly difficult for me.

I left Storm's room behind me and walked downstairs, trying to find Florence. Bono was sleeping and looked up sleepily once I called out Florence's name.

I stopped moving when I saw her frail body standing outside. I walked up to the back door and looked at the sky, the dark grey clouds were telling me that a storm would be coming up soon. 

I opened the door and stepped outside, watching Florence's locks being moved by the wind. She's looking in front of her, moving some strands of hair out of her face every once in a while. The wind is surrounding her and she's simply embracing it. The weather forecast told us there was a storm coming up soon.

I carefully walked up to her, stopping next to Florence. She looked sideways, right into my eyes. Her blue eyes were dull. Normally the resembled the crystal blue waters of some idyllic island. Now they weren't, they resembled the grey clouds. She seems lost, so lost and I feel terrible for her.

She's blaming herself for the stillbirth. 

Moments like these, I don't know how to react. I apprehensively wrap my arm around her shoulder, hoping it would at least ease her emotions a little. Her hand slowly landed on my back, her head leaning on my shoulder. This felt like one of the first times that we've had any physical contact. It's been ages since we've hugged and it worries me.

We stood in silence for a while, until I felt small droplets falling into my bare skin. Florence's head stayed right where it was but now her eyes were fixed on the sky. Her fingers grazed over my back, lightly scratching it with her long nails. The rain quickly pelted down faster, soaking us completely.

"It's ironic isn't it?" Her small voice spoke up above the clattering rain. 

"What is?" I asked, confused by her words. Her eyes met mine before looking up at the sky once again. 

Her hand pointed at the sky, before looking at me. "The stormy, August weather. I'm not one to believe in signs, but he's here."

I smiled softly, I believed in signs but it hadn't occurred to me yet. "He's here but not really, right?" She nodded at me, her fingers reaching into my curls as she scratched my scalp. 

"He should've been here with us today," Flo whispered, wiping her own locks out of her face. 

"Yeah," I answered, her hands dropped from my head and I wrapped my arm around her until she was completely in front of me. My chin rested on her shoulders and I wondered what Storm actually would be like, would he be an easy sleeper? Or maybe a little crybaby. "Do you think Storm would've been an easy one?"