Beautiful as Snow, Cold as Ice

Chapter 34

"I'm alright."

That didn't even sound so convincing as he wanted it to be. Jinyoung felt like he was mostly telling himself that rather than reassuring his friends he was fine.

Jaebum glanced at him, clearly frowning as the older held him closer to give him warmth. In the end, when he finally calmed down with his face buried into Youngjae's sweater, the realization came to him.

What has he done? Why would he go to them, out of all people?

Mark and Jackson was walking behind them as they exchanged glances, eyes constantly flacking to the male on Jaebum's back. Jinyoung felt mortified when he found himself unable to use his legs and Yugyeom, who immediately noticed, told the older males. So there they were, Jaebum ending up giving him a piggyback ride.

The silence was like a heavy weight on their shoulders.

Jinyoung was refusing to say anything else, letting those two words hang between them as he stared into the hollow. He couldn't believe it was late already, now he'd have to lie to his parents.

Too busy with the thoughts in his head, he didn't notice the look Youngjae and BamBam gave him.

Why, why? What was he thinking, going so blindly forwards to them?

But who could you go to?

Right. No one besides Eunjeong and his boyfriends knew. And that was only a pure coincidence, he'd never tell them himself.

Now, this.

How the fuck was he going to lie to them? Tell them he was alright so they could let it go?

He doubted they would let it go.

Was he even safe anymore? Minjun had found him so easily, controlled him so easily. And he actually thought he was better, stronger than before but yet he stopped and froze when he should've fought.

He really still was that pathetic.

Why was life such a bitch? It should've been better if he had stayed cold to them. Never became friends with them, never hung out with them.

Now his mind was playing him.

Jinyoung didn't want this. He couldn't handle it, not everything on the same time. There was so many problems for him already and he didn't want anymore to get dragged in this.

Hell, he didn't want anyone to know.

How was he even going to face them now?

Minjun was right. He had always been pathetic, unable to fight or talk against something. It would be better of he didn't exist at all.

Jinyoung was tired. His bed and sleep was sounding pretty good right now, with no talking between. If he could've chosen, he would've slept forever.

Yeah, that sounded nice. Sleeping forever. Without any memories or pain.

The brunette wished so badly he could erase his memories, erase everything that was as him. Kim Minjun had always been good at it, making him feel like he was the crazy one.

For the first time in his life, he couldn't find any words to explain for the six males watching him so closely now.

He didn't want to admit it, didn't want others to see how broken he really was. They would see how weak he was and eventually leave him.