Torn

Chapter Twenty Six

Cancer, I have cancer. "How I was perfectly fine yesterday?" the doctor nodded towards me his eyes sunken into his tan face.
"We do not understand exactly how it is progressing without side effects, right now how do you feel?" I looked over at Calum, the look in his eyes told me that I didn't look well but I felt completely fine.
"Like I did yesterday morning, perfectly fine." The doctor's pen began to move once more. I slumped back against my pillow. "This doesn't run in my family on either side."
"Are you sure?" Calum whispered. I knew he was referring to me never meeting my father but I was close with his sibling and his other children.
I squeezed my fiancé's hand and nodded. "Yes I am sure. My medical history all of it is back in America."
The doctor nodded once more, tucking his clipboard under his arm. "We will get the information as soon as possible but for now we have to get you into surgery. We are going to try and remove what we can of the affected area and we will go from there." Calum's quiet sobs broke my heart, I didn't want to see my wounded man. "The nurses will be back in an hour to prep you." He disappeared without another word. Calum rose to his feet his eyes darting everywhere but to me.
"I am going to go tell everyone." He whispered. "I don't want you to have to go through that." He leaned and kissed the back of my hand right before the needle could be seen. Calum left the room his head hung low, I wanted to kiss his pain away but I couldn't even protect myself from it.

*Calum's pov*

I drove straight to Luke's house, I needed something familiar, something to make me forget about all of this for a moment. "Hey dude." He said without looking up from his game as I stepped into the living room.
"Hey." I whispered sitting down beside him.
The game was paused as he turned his whole body towards. "Man you look like you've been hit by a bus." Maybe I have been, it sure feels like it.
"Nah Toni's sick." I met his eyes, the piercing blue eyes of my best friend. Everything in his face dropped as he searched for a joke. "She has cancer, really bad cancer. They found her in the hotel surrounded by blood."
"What kind?" Luke whispered his eyes watering.
"Ovarian. Where the eggs drop you know from health class." Luke's soft smirk warmed me, it reminded me that my best friend was there. Before I could say another word he wrapped his broad arms around me. I didn't stop myself from crying, I couldn't I needed to get it out before I went back to her.
"What's going on down here a bro love fest?" Michael joked as he hopped down the stairs. We both looked up at him, the color instantly drained from his pale face. "Wow man you're crying."
I repeated everything I had said to Luke, Michael joined in on our hug. "That's fucking crazy, will she be okay?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "She's in stage four, the worst of the worst. They're going to do surgery in a couple of hours. I just needed someone to talk to."
"Does her mum know, or Allison or anyone else besides us?"
I shook my head. "I think she needs to tell her mom, and Allison, they come back this weekend no reason to ruin their trip." The two boys nodded as I stood to my feet.
"Can we come?" Michael asked, I wanted to squeeze him some more but I only nodded.

"Hi" I whispered as I stepped into Toni's room. More iv's were stuck to her, the long blonde hair that I had ran my fingers through many nights was now up into a bun and away from her pale face. "I brought company."
Her eyes brightened as Luke and Michael stepped in, I heard their gasps when they saw the look of her. "Oh Toni." Michael cried as he leaned down onto her. Everything in me wanted to shout 'be careful' but I knew she needed it.
Luke walked around to the other side and gripped her hand. "Look at you." He whispered tears running down his cheeks. "What are we going to do with you?" She smiled as her small fingers wiped at his tears.
"Love me for the brave woman I am." Her voice was small but filled to the brink with admiration for my band mates.
"Everyone was going to be at the party this weekend." Michael joked. "Now there will be no party!"
"Party?" I questioned. Toni's green eyes searched my face as I took the chair from against the wall.
She took a deep breath her small chest rising. "I kind of told Niall there was a house warming party this weekend. He kind of told everyone else."
"I will set him straight." I whispered stepping out into the hallway.

Niall's phone number was at the end of my call list, but he answered on the first ring. "Long time no hear old friend! We just landed in Sydney!"
"You are already here?" I croaked my heart sinking into my stomach. "Is Harry with you?"
"Yeah man it's all of us. We're excited to see everyone and this new house of yours. Toni gave me the address we will be there in like thirty minutes."
"Alright I will meet you there!"
Stepping back into her room I had no idea how I was going to tell Harry the truth. Even though he told her nothing was between them anymore, I saw the way he looked at her. I knew he was lying. "I am going to go pick up your favorite people from home. I will be back before you go into surgery." She nodded at me her eyes bright but rimmed red.
The drive to our home was short but the black escalade that sat in the drive way told me that had arrived before me. I stepped out and was greeted with a smile from their driver before all doors open up.
"Hey man." Liam said coming out first, I gave him a stern nod before waving towards Louis and Zayn. Next was Harry, his eyes were bright, his hair longer than the last time I saw him. "Wow." He spoke. "This house screams Toni." With his words another piece of my heart broke off.
The house was just like her, beautiful but with elegant edge. "Would you guys like to see inside, we don't have much time before we have to go see Toni?"
"Where is she?" Harry whispered concern deep in his facial features.
"You will see." I waved my hand offering him to walk ahead of me. I gave them a quick tour of the home I had only been in twice.
"I would like to see Toni." Harry said sternly. I couldn't put it off anymore, I nodded.

*Harry's pov*
Calum was hiding something, something serious. I could see it in his worn out face, his eyes brimmed red from what looks like crying. He didn't speak as he drove down the Australian streets.
I heard his sharp intake of breath as we pulled into a hospital. "Why is she here?" I snapped looking over at him. His knuckles turned white as he gripped harder onto the steering wheel.
"I'm going to let her tell you." He didn't take his eyes off the road as he parked the large vehicle.
"Good evening Mr. Hood." The blonde woman behind the front desk said with a saddening smile. He gave her a quick nod as we all filed into the large elevator.
His eyes closed as he gripped onto the bridge of his nose. "When you see her, please, please try to keep any gasp or anything like that to yourself." He quickly hit the number ten, the doors shutting us inside.
I couldn't find air in my lungs to respond to him and as the elevator brought us up. "We won't have much time." Calum snapped as the elevator doors opened. Quickly walking down the large hallway my heart was hammering in my chest until I heard Michael's booming laugh. Maybe it wasn't so bad afterall, until I saw her. IT felt like I had been hit square into the throat, every last drop of air was sucked out of my lungs as her ghostly face starred at mine.
"Harry." She whispered, her voice the exact same as I had last remember.
"Hi." Michael moved away from the side of the bed so I could replace him.
"You look as lovely as ever." Her eyes danced across my face as I took a small hand into mine.
"Why are you here?" I couldn't take the waiting any longer, I needed to know.
Green eyes went back to her boyfriend, he nodded softly before the small hand that were between mine moved to rest on my cheek. "I have cancer." I could barely hear her but Niall's cry made it real. "I mean I feel perfectly okay." She giggled. "But maybe it's just because all these lovely drugs they have me on." She smiled at me. "But they say it's bad, like I'm on the brink of dying bad." She shushed me as tears ran down my face.
"No." I cried against her hand, she nodded at me. "You can't leave you're my heaven." Her eyes grew wide at the realization of what I had just said. "You make everything right without you, I'll be lost, Calum will be lost fuck even Niall." She smiled softly. "I need to go." I stood from her bedside I couldn't handle the truth, seeing her like this made it all too real.
"I won't be here when you come back." She whispered. The room was spinning as I turned to look at her.
"She has surgery." Calum spoke running a hand over her leg. My eyes danced between the two before I turned on my feet. Once the door shut behind me I slide to the floor everything in me was gone.