Torn

Chapter Five

Toni didn't speak the entire ride to the hotel. She didn't look up at me as we entered the room. She just removed her clothes and climbed into the bed. She didn't touch me as she slept. Her body never moved until as the morning sun touched my skin she rolled to the middle taking my spot. That's where she laid. She only woke up twice , once for the bathroom, the second time she just stared at me before rolling the opposite direction. She was hurting and I had no idea on how to fix it.

She didn't make a move when I told her the show was starting soon. I left her there the driver no longer waiting on me. The ride was long and cold without her warm eyes beside me. I walked into the dressing room and my heart sunk. Harry sat in the chair against the wall, probably expecting to see her. "Hey man" Luke said raising his hand for a high five. I complied causing him to smile as his fist connected with my shoulder. "Where's Toni?" He asked looking around.

"I don't know what's going on. She hasn't spoke to me since we left here last night. She's been asleep all day." I shrugged walking over to my bass.

"Should I go see her?" Allison asked. I shook my head.

"I think she wants to be alone." I made sure to make eye contact with Harry as I spoke.

The show felt empty knowing she wasn't behind the wall waiting for me. Still my heart was pounding as I stepped off. She wasn't there, like I should have expected.

*toni's pov*

The night was warm as I walked through the dim lit streets. The hotel room was beginning to smother me since I could no longer sleep.

I pushed my hands into my pockets as I turned the corner. "Holy shit" a girl screamed. My eyes went wide as she screamed again. "It's fucking Harry Styles." My heart began to pound as I turned around. Sure enough there he was, across the street waiting for the walk sign to appear. His hair was pushed back into his beanie, his jeans looser than I was use to. The girl ran to him as I kept walking. "Toni" he yelled toward me but I made no move to notice him.

I felt a strong hand grasp my arm spinning me around. Harry's eyes met mine as fury boiled my blood. "What the fuck don't you understand I need some time!?" Before he could respond my body was pushed up against the brick wall of a pawn shop. Harry's large body pushed against mine. My stomach was doing flips as his warm lips moved with mine. What the fuck was he doing!? I wanted to fight him but he smelled like heaven and tasted even better. "I want to do this for you." He whispered against my neck. No , no , no this wasn't right. I pushed against his shoulder shaking my head.

"No Harry no!" He pulled back confused.

"I can't handle seeing you in pain fucking because of me!" He shouted at me.

"And i can't handle you fucking kissing me out of guilt!" His eyes went down to his large feet. "Harry. You're the one who said it. You can't help what you are." I took his large hand in mine. "And i'm fine with that." He looked down at me. "There's nothing wrong with it."

He shook his head. "Every time you look at me I see it. You try to hide it with that dimpled smile but I see." I nodded.

"I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt but i'll get over it you wont." He turned his head to look down the street. "I appreciate you wanting to do this for me it shows how you value our friendship. By me saying no it should show that I value you."

"Why couldn't you have been a guy." I rolled my eyes looping my arm through his.

"Calum is probably so worried about me." He nodded as I looked up at him. "We had sex" i said absentmindedly.

"And?" He asked confused.

"I cried afterwards." His touch tightened. "I wanted it to be you so bad" i shook my head. "But today I realized it never would be and all Calum wants is to be in your place in my heart and I think he deserves it."