whatever the hell we want || j. jordan

~ chapter 1.3 ~

I stumbled along, still stunned. I was mostly held up by Finn and his steady stride. I was half hyperventilating and half not breathing at all. Once we passed into the camp, I ran to my tent and fell onto the ground.
"How could I let this happen?" I mumbled to myself as I curled up, hands covering my face, wet from tears.
I heard the muffled conversations about Jasper so I held my hands against my ears tightly. Maybe minutes, maybe hours later I woke to the sound of Monty's voice.
"Hey." He offered a weak greeting. I turned to talk to him but instead found myself running into his arms for a hug. He wasn't surprised, he needed it too. We held each other for a minute until I broke away and patted his shoulder.
"We'll get through this. He might still be alive," I managed, even though I knew it wasn't possible. I saw where the spear hit him. Monty nodded, and we stepped out of the tent. I noticed Clarke and Bellamy having a conversation. They were standing with Finn, Octavia, John Murphy, and the Chancellor's son. Bellamy beckoned another boy over and pushed Octavia away. She argued, but it was clear that she wasn't coming.
"Oh lord," I muttered. I didn't want to leave camp for the third time already, but I knew what they were doing. They were planning on finding Jasper. And I couldn't let them go without me.
"Hey, wait," I ran up to them, wiping my face. It was obvious I'd been crying but I tried to play it off. "I know what you're doing. And I'm coming with you." Both Finn and Murphy shook their heads.
"No."
I opened my mouth to protest, but Clarke spoke before I could.
"We all saw how you reacted. How you disappeared for hours. I don't know what you'll do if we- when we find him." The rest of the group nodded in agreement.
"Since when have I become an issue? I'm going. I promise I'll be fine. I'll act normal." They all exchanged glances, until Bellamy sighed.
"Just let her come. She'll follow us anyway."

***

"Hey, hold up. What's the rush? You don't survive a spear through the heart," Bellamy moved loudly through the woods.
"Oh, shut up, will you? There are Grounders out there and you're walking like an elephant." I glowered at him. So far, the Ground sucks.
"Put the gun away, Bellamy," said the chancellor's son, who's name I found out to be Wells.
"Well, why don't you do something about it, huh?" Bellamy mocked him, egging him on.
"Jasper screamed when they moved him. If the spear struck his heart, he'd have died instantly." I perked up.
"He could be alive?"
"It's possible, but it doesn't mean we have time to waste." Clarke said, still moving deeper into the woods. Bellamy grabbed her wrist.
"As soon as you take this wristband off, we can go," He said with a fake smile. Clarke ripped her hand away from his.
"The only way the Ark is gonna think I'm dead, is if I'm dead. Got it?"
I made eye contact with Bellamy then glanced down at my wrist. It still held the wristband.
"How about you? Are you gonna still suck up to the government? Or are you gonna be one of us, free to do what you want, when you want?" Bellamy held out his hand and his knife. "I'll do it for you right now." I looked from my wrist to his hand, then back again. I faltered, still not sure what to do.
The Arc provided us with what we needed, but then sent us here to die. My hand started moving towards his when I looked at Clarke. I dropped it.
"Clarke's right, we have to move."

"We have to split up. Clarke, you're coming with me." Finn reached out to her and she followed him away. I looked towards them, wanting to get away from Wells and Bellamy.
"Well, well, well. I guess we've got more in common that meets the eye." Bellamy smirked.
"We have nothing in common." Wells and I drew away from Bellamy.
"No? We both came down here to protect someone we love," he gestured to Wells. "And you. You're here for the same reason. Too bad, it's worse for you guys. With Finn and Octavia around, you're both invisible."
"I am nothing like you. You don't know me." I hissed at Bellamy, pushing past him.
Hours later, we found Finn and Clarke again.
"So, any trace of him?" I asked, catching up to Finn and Clarke. They explained what they saw, but all I heard was Bellamy's taunting whispers about how Clarke can't even see Wells when Finn is around. We heard a low moan.
"...Jasper?" I whispered. "He's close!" Hearing it again, I started running towards the sound. I tripped on something and set off a booby trap. I fell towards a pit and grabbed onto the edge with one hand, slipping.
"Clarke!" I called out as the group ran to catch up to me. They pulled me up and onto the muddy ground.
"Any more brilliant ideas, Cressida? Damn you!" Murphy shoved me towards the pit. "You've probably alerted all the Grounders that we're here." I regained my balance, spitting at him before turning to refocus my attention on Jasper. He was hanging up on some sort of tree... tower... structure? Finn climbed up to cut the vines and set Jasper free.
"There's a poultice on his wound." Clarke pointed up at him.
"Medicine? Why would they save his life just to string him up as live bait?" I asked.
"Maybe what they're trying to catch likes its dinner to be breathing." Bellamy suggested, to which Finn turned and looked at us.
"Maybe what they're trying to catch is us."

yet another update in like 48 hours. pleaaaase comment and like let me know stuff i guess. i really want this story to succeed and i want to grow my page because im super proud of this update. even if its bad idc.