whatever the hell we want || j. jordan

~chapter 2.4~

"I'm tired of puking."
"I'm tired of being a human pincushion."
Miller and Harper were complaining, yes, but with good reason. Getting blood drawn every day sucked, to say the least. Jasper looked around in dismay.
"Okay...I know this sucks, but as long as it seems like we're cooperating, we're buying ourselves time."
"Time for what, Jasper? I'm sick of doing this. We don't even know if Clarke is alive. We're just slowly dying, just like they want," said Harper.
"I say, if we're going to die in here, we might as well die trying to escape." Miller added.

"We've been over this. After Clarke left, there is no escape." He paused and looked around for people to agree with him. No one did. "We just have to...hold on long enough for her to find a way to get us out."

"What if she doesn't find a way?" Monty blurted out. "What if she didn't make it out? What if this...this story they're telling us is to hide the fact that they killed her? Then, no one's coming for us, and we're doing exactly what they want us to do."
Jasper looked hurt, but also confused that his best friend had just disagreed with him.
"C'mon, Jasper. We know you've thought it too."
"Alright then," Harper said. "We escape."
Jasper shook his head.
"No. We find the truth."
Miller scoffed. "And how do we do that?"
Jasper glanced over at me. "We're criminals, aren't we? So let's be criminals. Find me after dinner."

Maya still hadn't made an appearance. Yet. This was my chance. As Jasper started to leave, I rushed up to him and grabbed his wrist.
"Jasper, wait." He looked back at me in shock.
"What is it?"
"I- um.." I hadn't actually thought of what I would say when I finally got him alone. "Can we speak somewhere more private?" He nodded, and lead me down a few halls and into a huge room filled with shelves, all holding countless paintings. I gasped at the sight.
"How did you find this place?"
"Oh, Maya took me-"
"I don't want to talk about Maya." I blurted out. I didn't mean to say it out loud, but it was already done. "Wait, um, that's not what I meant. Come here." I lead him further into the shelves until we were completely alone with no windows, doors, or people in sight.
"Do you remember the day we met? When you tried to stand up to Sterling for me? And I punched his friend?"
He nodded, smiling at the memory.
"What about it?"
I continued. "And the day we got arrested? God, I was so mad at you for that. But look where it got us. To the Ground. And you got stabbed multiple times, and then we all got really high, and-" I stopped myself. I was rambling. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is... I can't hold it in anymore. Jasper Jordan, I've loved you since the day we met. I know you like Maya, and Octavia, and recently I've treated you like sh-" My words were cut off by Jasper's lips against mine. I pulled away.
"I wasn't expecting that." I laughed, then looked around, suddenly worried that someone would hear. I looked back into his eyes. He seemed concerned.
"Should I not have done that? I'm so stupid, I'm sor-" This time, it was his turn to be cut off. I grabbed the collar of his stupid polo shirt and pulled him back to me.
"You absolutely should've done that." He smiled against my lips and pushed me against the wall. I could hardly catch my breath. I'd been waiting for this moment since we boarded the dropship for the first time. Or maybe even before. He lifted up my legs so that they were wrapped around his waist. His lips travelled down my neck and onto my collarbone. It was all I could do to keep silent. He set me down, back against the wall. His hands started to wander downwards, but I pulled them back up onto my hips.
"Not yet." I breathed against his neck. He nodded, and moved his lips back up to my own. It was well into dinnertime before we knew it and we finally pulled apart. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in for one last deep kiss before smiling and running down to the mess hall.

•••

I was elated. I couldn't wait to tell... who would I tell? Monty? Would that be weird? I wanted to tell Clarke, but it was obvious that that wouldn't happen anytime soon. I really had no other friends besides Miller and Harper, but I wasn't close enough with them to trust them quite yet. Suddenly, I stopped. Maya. How would that play out? Was me and Jasper a one time thing? Would we go back to ignoring each other? I was still trying to process what had just happened, yet my mind had instantly filled with questions and worries. I tried to banish them and just focus on keeping it all together until after tonight. I had to be completely on top of my game for it. I slid into the chair next to Monty that he had saved for me.
"Thanks." I muttered to him, starting my dinner.
"Hey, why were you so late?"
I stopped, my fork halfway to my mouth.
"Oh, no reason. Just got distracted." Jasper stepped into the room moments later. We avoided each others' gaze. Monty looked at me. Then Jasper. Then back at me. Then back at Jasper.
"What's this?" He reached out to touch my neck. I froze.
"What's what?" I said pulling up my shirt a little bit.
"Oh, it's nothing. Just a little mark."

Shit.

"Oh," I laughed nervously.
"Care to explain this whole situation?"
I broke.
"Oh, Monty. I confessed, and so did he, and we-"
He cut me off.
"Okay, okay, I don't want to hear any details. But what did I tell you? Uncle Monty was right. And I take it he reacted how you wanted him to?" He nudged me.
"Monty Green, I resent that. Eat your dinner." I hit his arm. "And if you must know, yes. He did react exactly how I wanted him to."

jdjxjs so yeah uh that happened im looking forward to taking this further but like not soon we've gotta build up the uhh yeah idk 😼