It's been a month since Taani left for Venice and since the time I talked to her last, rather accused her. In this one month I finally realized what I did with her, my over concentration towards my work where I neglected her yet again, then telling her that she won't understand me just because she isn't a dancer and last but surely not the least, those accusations I put on her that night.
I really don't know what the f*ck happened to me that night, I blasted upon her in such rage and said anything that came to my mind. And since that day I haven't been able to sleep peacefully.
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First, my guilt won't let me and second, she wasn't there with me, I couldn't hold her in my arms. In all these days only her words rang through my mind repeatedly, loud and clear,
Rey I can't believe you even think that way about me, I never expected this from you.
Thoda sa wait kiya to itna bura laga? Or jo pichle ek mahine se I would be waiting for you, or finally thakkar so jati thi, have you ever informed me ki aap late hone vale hoy a aap kiske sath ho? I never asked you Rey, because i trust you. But lagta hai aapko mujhpe zara sab hi trust nahi hai. Or main pata nahi kyu expect bhi kar rahi thi trust hoga, college time par bhi to nahi tha, bas yahi gussa, aise hi chize assume karna, na kabhi baat karni or nahi kuch puchna. Bas jo mann mein aya bol diya. Tab bhi hamara rishta isliye toota tha or shayad ab bhi...."
But you know what Rey, iss baar main apni safayi mein kuch nahi kahungi..Because I know I was not wrong. I wish you realise ki how wrong you were! But jaldi realise kariyega, kabhi kabhi realisation mein bahot der ho jati hai. Jese last time hui thi. Uss baar mein waapis aa gayi thi Rey but don't thik ki iss baar bhi waapis aa jaungi. Trust me, you will regret it, kahin itni dur na chali jaaon ki aap kabhi waapis na laa payein.
All the words said by her were still fresh in my memory and even my own, and I was damn ashamed over them.
But I can't do anything, I am helpless.
She didn't even gave me a chance to explain. She just left, just like that. She didn't even meet me before going or said anything. She was hurt, really hurt. And I was the reaon for this.
Now, it's been a month I last saw her or heard her sweet, melodious voice. I tried to call her many times but she didn't pick, I even tried her secretary's number but she always told me that mam is busy.
As if I don't know her mam is avoiding me, she is punishing me and damn she is doing a good job. She knows nothing can be a big punishment to me than her absence in my life.
